The way I have come to see it is..

In relationships we come in flawed to learn lessons and help raise each other to the next level of our growth.

Once one of the pair has begun to understand their lessons and grow we begin to repel the other. Which then pushes the other to make a choice grow or don’t.

We then are given a choice, wait around for the growth of the other or leave.

If the relationship was based in truthful open communication and has that strong foundation most will choose to wait and have a happy and successful union.

If the relationship is unhealthy, fear of change will keep the pair together. Although they know the time has come to move on. This unfortunately continues the toxic cycle, until the frustration turns into rage forcing them to choose their peace over chaos.

The lessons we teach each other unfortunately are painful. However the pain inflicted is mostly unintentional, simply we are loving the way we were taught. Unfortunately most were taught that love and pain were intertwined as children, through the lessons our parents taught us.

With that being said, if we can realize we all do the best we can, with what we have available and how we were taught (parents included). Then we can open to seeing that we all have different experiences and perspectives, even while in the same relationship.

Now it is time to make the changes that can cultivate healthy relationships moving forward.

That begins with clear communication based in nothing less than truth and knowledge of our self, our boundaries and desires.

It comes with absolute truth and rawness of who you are, flawed and all. It comes when you have patience and realize that, most people don’t think like you do and most aren’t mind readers. Too often we project our fears and assume the worst in others, instead of simply asking.

We hide the unwanted parts of ourselves, we’re afraid to vulnerable as a result of the experiences we have had growing up. We try to be who you believe the other wants you to be, rather then who we truly are.

We look to fill the void between who we are and who wish to be until we accept that we are always enough within ourselves.