Every upbringing where you heard even once these words even if said in different ways. The meaning is always similar.

1. Stop your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about. This shows a child if you show release emotions you get hurt or in trouble, so instead you learn to suppress emotions.
2. Do what I say and don’t question me. That says don’t think, I tell you what to think and do. If you don’t listen or if you ask why you are going to get in trouble and that may hurt.
3. Don’t speak back to adults. It says you are not important your thoughts feelings and emotions don’t matter, the behavior and actions of the adult in question don’t matter. The only thing that matters is he is better then you.
4. Parents say go give aunt, uncle, grandparent, cousin, family friends a hug or a kiss. The child says no I don’t want to, please I don’t like it. The child now gets reprimanded, in trouble and forced to do so regardless that they didn’t want to. Now the child knows even if it feels wrong they have to do it because it’s expected and when they said please no it didn’t matter they got in trouble. So the child learns to ignore their own feelings and knowings they must sacrifice themselves to make others comfortable or there are consequences.
5. Now this #4 is a problem and a huge one. The parents didn’t realize the child wasn’t comfortable because the adult they didn’t want to give affection to was the same adult; who when the child was at there house they taught the child a new secret game. The child new the game was bad and it felt wrong and it made them feel sick. The child also knew that when they tried to talk or show emotions to get help it didn’t matter, they got in trouble for that too. Now the child in a certain ways gives up trying and just allows it because it is just easier then the pain that comes when they try to get help.

So parents & adults please stop and understand what has been done to us. Now look at what you may be continuing to do to your children, without even realizing. It stops at home!