I don’t even know where to begin.

I can’t remember the day it began or how it started, I don’t honestly remember what happened or in what chronological order or why.

I tried to wear your shirt today, the black one with the green dragon. The one your brother and you have worn so many times before, as soon as I put it on I almost fell to the floor. The tears still flowing I took it off faster then I put it on and grabbed my only nightgown. As fucked up as it is it gets really hard to stick around.

What’s worse is knowing you could honestly care less but even worse yet is I still can’t understand why. I know I fucked up but my god I fucking tried to be better then what I had known. I love you with every breath. There’s not a damn thing I can do to make you talk to me.

I didn’t want to leave I had no choice it was a matter of safety I simply wasn’t safe around you. Every time I tried to process or take time alone I was handcuffed and committed to a mental facility. I don’t even have words anymore.

I fucked up I didn’t mean too but in the end I did because I don’t have you by my side.