It’s all IN LOVE.
I’m not mean, I’m tired of waiting and ready for change.
I will be honest and tell you what they won’t.

I want you to succeed in this life we have been hurt for too long, not knowing better.
I AM THE ONLY ME I CAN BE AND I WANT THE WORLD RID OF PAIN AND TOXICITY AND THAT BEGINS WITH THE TRUTH AND HARD CONVERSATIONS NO ONE LIKES TO HAVE. We are the change we’ve been waiting for yet nothing changes until we change it!

How do we begin?
With healing ourselves and recognizing destructive patterns of pain we’ve inherited. We strive to understand how we became who we are as an individual and how much of it is ours versus all that we picked up from others along the way. We stop being so damn selfish and childish and we take responsibility and accountability for what we do in all aspects.

We call out abusers and stand by the abused.
We stop mistreating people and calling it love so that the abuse can continue!!
I can assure you LOVE DOESN’T HURT!!
What hurts is lies, manipulation, mind games, abusive behaviors, neglect, abandonment, alienation, shame, guilt, toxicity, feelings of worthlessness, control…. ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING IT NOW?

Now everyone wants to be the good guy and follow the see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil, it’s none of my business mindset.
Well that’s where you screwed up it is your business and let me explain.
We have no one left to blame but ourselves if this is the way we continue once you know better and understand what the consequences for continuing these actions are.

OH BEFORE I BEGIN UNDERSTAND THIS. ONLY A PERSON WHO HAS PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMA WILL EVER TRULY UNDERSTAND THE DAMAGE AND THE EFFECT IT TRULY TOOK ON THEIR LIVES.
You can study all you like but unless it’s happened to you.. STAY SILENT ON THE SUBJECT WHEN IT COMES TO HOW IT AFFECTED ANOTHER PERSON OR HOW SOMEONE SHOULD FEEL OR BEHAVE.
I can only speak from my own personal experiences.
In my humble opinion some mental illness such as depression, anxiety…. are absolutely caused by abusive, neglectful, toxic upbringings.
Now here is the problem everyone knew what was happening yet it was no one’s place to speak up it wasn’t their business.
Now 44 years later I know that my upbringing and events that shaped my life left me a victim allow me to explain.
I had been so broken and confused feeling devoid completely, I didn’t understand that what I had been taught love was.. was truly not.
So when I was abused in relationships I literally thought it was normal and it was better then I had known. Yes you read that right!!!
I took time I turned inward, I questioned everything including why I was who I was and why I did the things I did, felt the way I felt and thought the way I did.

I began unpacking all the suitcases of pain from around my heart. I started healing and understanding that we will never break these cycles until we call out the abusers and build up the abused. You have a voice you matter please let’s start using it!

How many children should endure the pain of outdated toxic beliefs meant to harm one’s confidence and strip them of self worth?

Isn’t it time to begin anew way forward together?
When we take the time to release judgements and begin to try and understand one another, we will come to fine we all want to be loved. We want to matter and we want to feel connected and safe with those we surround ourselves with in all aspects.

When we stop allowing each other to destroy each other and we stop allowing innocent children to pay for the parents pain handed down from the generations before, we come to find they also blessed us with the strength, wisdom, guidance and power to end these cycles together.

It’s simple and it starts at home.
Treat everyone how you want to be treated! If you don’t like to be treated that way don’t do it to anyone else.
Stop taking your frustrations out on your children learn to control your emotions.

Your CHILDREN aren’t here because they asked to be you picked a partner and created life, they are YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IN ALL ASPECTS!
Raise them with love encouragement and support.
Don’t judge them the world will do that enough, home should be a safe haven.
Do you like to be belittled or made to feel bad? No because NO ONE DOES!
STOP INTENTIONALLY HARMING OTHERS AND CALLING IT A JOKE ITS REALLY NOT FUNNY WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE STATE OF HUMANITY IN OUR SOCIETY.
Be honest if you don’t lie you have nothing to remember or hide.
Mean what you say and say what you mean.
Not everyone understands or thinks as you do and that is beautiful!
Imagine if we all felt safe to just be ourselves without pretending to have this amazing life all the time to keep appearances up!!
Especially in a world where we are all messed up!
Look life isn’t hard and no one is coming to save us the job is up to us!
Things change when you change them and I know I love you all and I want a better future for our children and grandchildren to come.

When you think to say this doesn’t effect me remember you may be doing amazing with your child and when they get older they run into the abused child who is hurt and angry and they get in a relationship. He/she never healed and eventually it begins to show unfortunately because no one told her/him it’s not okay to behave in these ways or do these things he continues thinking it’s normal. He/she ends up harming your grown child emotionally, mentally, physically or worse… don’t you wish someone would have helped that boy before he turned into the abusive man your child’s with now? Or at least called him/her out on their shit when they watched it happening instead of saying it isn’t my place?
Tami Irizarry