I saw you deleted the videos of us on social media. It hurt. I can’t believe we’re in this place.

How the fuck did we get here? Why did I stop taking my mental health medication in 2019. I got off of them because I was finally happy and believed I didn’t need them anymore, I was wrong.

I didn’t see the decline until October 2020 when I had my first mental breakdown even then I refused to be medicated thinking I could fix me without the medication. Again I was wrong in November 2022 I had another mental breakdown and this one literally cost me everything.

I have been on medication since December 2022 and it is needed for the rest of my life. Being on medication has helped make things a bit easier on me.

However I lost everything December 2022 after that breakdown something changed and my fiancé at the time said is was too much loss and she didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was in the hospital I had no idea of what had happened or what was happening to be honest.

I moved in with a friend I barely knew who was renting a room in her house. I saw my ex for the last time February 21 2023 when I was finally released from custody. She came saw me we talked as we drove and cried I couldn’t stop her she finally said goodbye.

Months have passed and one thing is for sure I love that woman with all I am and wish I could get her to talk to me. I’m deeply sorry for the pain I caused when I had my breakdown. Life isn’t bad here friendship is a beautiful gift and most days I spent hours in our pool it’s therapy. I laugh I also cry when I think of her and how much I miss her.

I wish I would have known how hard it was to deal with someone who has bipolar, mdd and ptsd. I would have never taken myself off the medication. I have been to jail and a mental health facility I’ve lost the love of my life and I’m here starting life all over again.