Some signs you’re dealing with an out of control addict. Frequently unemployed. Anger/rage. Money is missing. Bills go unpaid. Always asking for money. They disappear for long periods of time randomly for no good reason.
Now with the asking for money be cautious while understanding who is the narcissist and who is the victim stuck trying to save them. Both may ask for money one for survival the other to use for drugs.
Items of value are missing. Constant lies and wild senseless stories with zero proof to back them.
When you’re in love you’re truly dumb and blind we see only what we want and not things for what they really are. We do this because we have been conditioned to accept peoples poor behaviors and blame ourselves for them.
They treat us poorly and instantly we scan ourselves looking for the problem, I did something wrong… I didn’t do enough… it was my fault I got them mad… self blame is so real.
We have no idea what’s really happening we have fallen head over heals innocently we truly love them and we’re naive that the only thing they love is themselves.
As for myself I didn’t know life another way this toxic behavior was standard growing up and life was better with her then it ever was at home or anywhere I finally felt safe and loved for once.
We nobly BELIVE if we can help them conquer their demons we will be rewarded once again with the person we fell in love with.
It’s not true there is no happy ending to this story. This isn’t a Disney fairytale I promise it’s a beautiful nightmare at best.
It was only an illusion the person you fell in love never existed it was only a mask of a character they created to walk amongst us.
You see if you wait long enough the mask as it falls off yet when they see you notice and start speaking up that’s when the real fun begins.
They start love bombing you, promising everything will change, they tell you stick with it and all your dreams will come true.
Sadly you begin to gaslight yourself because you must be doing something wrong, if you could learn to be more patient they will come around. They just need more… more love patience, understanding, blood, sweat, tears, life force.
They are laughing at your stupidity I wish I was lying, I’m not.
They laugh every time you cry, every time you beg, every time you try to reason with them, every time you take them back, every time you make a empty threat they realize they own you.
You have lost so much. You have dedicated everything and it’s not that bad right? Wrong!! WRONG WRONG WRONG!
You stay, cry, hope, beg, plead, pray and fade away as you silently pray for death. If you have kids like I do they watched it all and suffered through it to.
I now see and fully understand the responsibility falls on me! I allowed them to go through trauma by what I allowed to be done to me. There was nothing more I could do. My kids started scattering like roaches when she came home from work.
You are drained, broken, confused and they are no longer addicted to one thing and unto something to else but hey it’s not pills so she’s the best!
Now they feel fixed and healed and with all the unconditional love, understanding and support you’ve provided them.
You’re no longer of use the moment you start fighting for yourself, once you stop allowing the abuse they discard you and you don’t see it coming.
While they promise to help you heal and fix the trauma and damage they’ve caused you intentionally they run away from responsibility and accountability.
They have already been seeking, testing and grooming a new supply. They are not an upgrade that’s not how narcissists operate this is always a downgrade.
They seek those who are weak unhappy with themselves and those who have low self esteem. They actively seek victims who can be easily confused, controlled and manipulated.
It’s a game and the prey doesn’t fight back, they’re stupid, naive, trusting, innocent, pure hearted and loyal.
Typically they come from abusive backgrounds and have children as narcissists love to manipulate and play family against one another.
A narcissist never changes they only change you. They change who they play the their evil game with. As with anyone or anything, YOU CANNOT COMMIT TO ANYONE WHO REFUSES TO COMMIT TO SAVING THEMSELVES.
Please save yourself, the cost of their love is your life get out alive!
Their love wasn’t love it was control and manipulation, you don’t destroy someone you love. Even if you did unintentionally when you realized it you would do whatever to make it right if it was love.
You don’t throw things away that you love, you only throw away what you’re done using, when you’re done using it.
Like the banana peel that gets thrown in the trash because the banana inside is gone. Thats what they do.
Invest in yourself and fight like hell to have the life of your dreams. All the money time and effort you put into everyone else imagine where you could be in 2 years if you put all that love and attention into you!
Love doesn’t hurt only abuse does.
Unpacking and healing the baggage of life.. let’s take a walk together as we find a better way. 