Today is a day much like yesterday…

Except today I feel it in a different way, today I feel tired, my body feels worn and the tears are flowing freely.

Yesterday I was full of joy and laughter, enjoying the world for all of its beauty.

Today I’m crying in bed and embracing all the pieces that make me… Me!

I know better then to be hard on myself and push to do more… to be totally transparent today I won’t get out the door.

I could list a hundred things that I should or need to do.. then complain about how I can’t get things done and whatever other bullshit pops up..

I choose instead to be grateful and easy with myself, because through the pain and tears I clearly know I’m blessed…

I have a warm bed with fluffy pillows and blankets that cradle me and catch my tears on days like these.. I have my animals who won’t leave my side or my feet..

Today my dear sistar listened to my fears reassured me that what I need will be arriving here.. my amazing love keeps checking in on me even though she is working hard she always makes time for me.. my daughter and her girlfriend took the dog for his walk and came back with coffee to surprise me.. my son has texted 3 times already and is suggesting I rest and letting me know he will be home soon and we can watch the mandalorian where we left off.

I see we need to go shopping for groceries but we do have some food in our house how blessed am I, when so many are going with out.

EVERYTHING starts with YOU!!! STOP PAYING for the intentional lies they sell you!!!!

While you’re praising. Praying. Gratefully giving your power away to another.

FYI- you are stuck and refusing to see it if your biggest concern is love light & twin flames and it’s been more then 6 months.

They tell you it’s not a race but you can’t see why!!

Start paying attention and realize I don’t speak for me I have it all already, I want for and need for nothing.

Either way what I cultivated healed and created is good because it is solely dependent on me.

Start paying attention to what they tell you!!! What they say vs what they show and tell you, are 3 different things!

How many realize that?

I need to see how bad this is…

YOU KNOW THIS IS END. THIS IS RAPTURE!!!

YOU HAVE FREE WILL DONT LET THEM MANIPULATE YOU TO FORGET!!

Just as dark Rose, so did light.

Do you even know the team you’re playing for?

Did you ever even honestly consider it.

Before you say you understand it all, make sure you payed attention and comprehended, if you’re unsure simply ask for clarity.

If you’re wondering if you do, I assure you don’t! If you did really know you wouldn’t dare try. Especially with the new info you just received.

I love you all Absofuckinglutely! I remember being scared, I also remember years of being used, abused, stolen from, demands on me all the time.

It was only good while I didn’t know who I was.

I KNOW WHO I AM

DO YOU REALLY EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO YOUR HEARTS & SOULS?

I get it, you really believe all you have been told, because it’s all you know.

I promise some open mindedness and hard work, will get you further then bullshit reasons of why you can’t.

Love doesn’t tell you to stay hurting call it twin flames and tell you it’s divine have you stuck for years in lessons you were meant to done with almost 2 years now… while you drown in tears that my loves is pain.. and lose money paying for tarot readings that reinforce you being stuck!!!!

TRUE LOVE SAYS WAKE THE FUCK UP!!

THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE YOURSELF IS TO CHOOSE YOURSELF ABOVE ALL!!

I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU ALL!

Unfortunately a lot of people are going to realize they have been abused their entire lives…. Many of us were raised by narcissistic abusers and unfortunately our parents will never take accountability or even desire to understand the effects of what they did.

They’re tired old and in Denial.

Now here’s the thing if you were raised like this chances are you picked up this parenting and way of living, putting your kids through it too…

Start questioning, reevaluating and making appropriate steps to fixing the relationships with your children that may be at odds or strained as a result of your learned ways!

Forgive your parents it was done to them too. Stop allowing them to cause you pain. You owe them nothing you have already paid in full with your sanity heart & body!

If they are committed to making you the villain and blaming you for their lives going bad. Or their poor choices.. Remind them they created you and remove yourself from the situation until you want to revisit.

Kids realize this was done to all of us try and see were really trying to do better then what we have know, together we can heal this and bridge a new way!

All colors are absolutely beautiful in every shade available and colors bring our world to life! White can be brilliant just as Black is magnificent. Both can be dull alone or depending on shades absolutely breathtaking.

However white alone is boring and when you add the tiniest bit of color you change the world. We in America came to the melting pot willingly or unwillingly it doesn’t matter anymore we’re here all of us of all different shades.

So get in the pot and let’s make something new and beautiful or get out! It’s really that simple!

There is separation in family and humanity is clinging on by a thread, it is time we are taking back control and making appropriate changes. Now we are in an awkward place of unlearning, clearing, healing, understanding, opening, Integrating new information, opening to different perspectives and reclaiming all that was wrongfully taken and held back from us. However we aren’t doing it in hate or anger or even pain, we are doing it in love and through changed behaviors! It begins as we uplift one another and remind each other that we are all divine and hold the heart of Jesus and Mary within each of us! Once we find balance it all begins!

Sometimes people need separation so that we may heal and learn a better way. This way we clear the road for whatever is meant for us and we allow the other the same, often we find when the love is real it finds it way back to us. However this time it is ready for a new beginning in new ways when it does return. It is time for you to focus on yourselves and your children as you heal independently so you may come back and heal the family together. Through the true heart of Jesus and Mary can we truly change the world. It begins within each of us this is the journey home.

Open to the awesomeness around you!

Tami Irizarry @DivineTemptations

Every upbringing where you heard even once these words even if said in different ways. The meaning is always similar.

1. Stop your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about. This shows a child if you show release emotions you get hurt or in trouble, so instead you learn to suppress emotions.
2. Do what I say and don’t question me. That says don’t think, I tell you what to think and do. If you don’t listen or if you ask why you are going to get in trouble and that may hurt.
3. Don’t speak back to adults. It says you are not important your thoughts feelings and emotions don’t matter, the behavior and actions of the adult in question don’t matter. The only thing that matters is he is better then you.
4. Parents say go give aunt, uncle, grandparent, cousin, family friends a hug or a kiss. The child says no I don’t want to, please I don’t like it. The child now gets reprimanded, in trouble and forced to do so regardless that they didn’t want to. Now the child knows even if it feels wrong they have to do it because it’s expected and when they said please no it didn’t matter they got in trouble. So the child learns to ignore their own feelings and knowings they must sacrifice themselves to make others comfortable or there are consequences.
5. Now this #4 is a problem and a huge one. The parents didn’t realize the child wasn’t comfortable because the adult they didn’t want to give affection to was the same adult; who when the child was at there house they taught the child a new secret game. The child new the game was bad and it felt wrong and it made them feel sick. The child also knew that when they tried to talk or show emotions to get help it didn’t matter, they got in trouble for that too. Now the child in a certain ways gives up trying and just allows it because it is just easier then the pain that comes when they try to get help.

So parents & adults please stop and understand what has been done to us. Now look at what you may be continuing to do to your children, without even realizing. It stops at home!

You can blame me for speaking truth you aren’t ready to hear.

For making the cloudiness of the veil all too clear.

For not allowing you to lie or manipulate me.

For bringing clarity with a loud boom, which crashes through all the lies you speak.

You can blame me for caring more about you more then you do yourself, for not caring about worldly possessions over your heart and spiritual wealth.

You can blame me for pointing out only the facts.

For speaking on the right and wrong and not taking it back.

For speaking up and out for justice in a world that stopped caring.

Lay it all on me I’ll bare the burden of truth.

Here’s the facts.

I’m not sorry and I’ll never take it back.

I won’t sit in ignorance pretending nothings wrong, in a world where people rather die instead of returning home.

Home was supposed to be a safe haven… almost heaven like in the ways of love.

I can only speak for me when I say it was nothing like the statement I made above.

I AM NOT SORRY, I didn’t become who you wanted me to be.

I may be a product of you, but I was always meant to be me.

I am not sorry for the life that I lived, I will no longer apologize for my existence.

If you don’t like who I became, well sorry to say…. To all parents.

YOU ALONE Chose the partner, had the sex, kept the pregnancy, taught and molded me, you raised this kid. It’s time to ask yourself why you don’t like what you see?

All that I learned was what was available to me, all of my traits I copied from you as I grew into me. Children are a product of their environment so now ask yourself what environment did you give to create me?

We can all try and pretend, leave the past in the past and never talk again I’m fine with that.

I won’t lie and pretend it’s okay when I fight every day to battle the hate you send when you look my way, think of my name or see my face.

Especially when in reality it’s your own personal anger and rage… your mad because I’m not your ideal, truth be told it’s not hard to heal.

However it is hard to take a look inside, you may come to find the face you look to hate is yours not truly mine.

I try and try and tried again realistically if there was any chance of hope, I will try until your dying day.

I can’t force you to open up so instead, I leave you in nothing but love, if we never speak again… I hope this crosses your path because when I leave this time without a miracle I won’t be looking back.

I will keep marching forward and carry you in my heart waiting for the day to come when we no longer have to be apart.

I don’t blame you I haven’t for years, I only wished you could see it from my side too just as I forced myself to do it with you.

I hope you find peace within your mind and comfort in your heart, I hope you’re surrounded by those you need to keep you from falling apart. I hope you forgive yourself for all you allowed and maybe one day you will finally be proud.

I won’t apologize for who I have become, I have made my mistakes and paid for each and every one. I have walked the line and looked inside I destroyed my heart and shattered my pride.

I took all the pain that I had held and I picked it apart and found the story waiting to unfold. I began to make sense of a world that doesn’t make sense to me and through the pain I found the map that set me free.

I stepped out of my life and became an observer of it all and I watch as history continues to repeat as so many force themselves to repeat it all. So afraid of being alone they choose the abuse because it has become all that is known.

So here is my personal rise to the call!

I don’t blame you for anything anymore our story ends here for now.

I am now mother and I too have created pain and trauma within my children. Although I never intended which is why it’s so easy for me to forgive you.

Only here is where my focus is…

I’m not afraid to say I hurt my kids, I taught them wrong things as I also did that best that I could. I’m not afraid to admit I was wrong or to look at myself and take accountability and for that I am strong.

I’m also aware that the journey is their own, I only wish to walk independently aside them and repair the foundation of this broken home, brick by brick, piece by piece, heart to heart. I know that my sentence is patience since I caused the pain in them I don’t get to say when it starts.

Now as a mom this part gets hard, as a person I also have my own heart. So here it gets tricky so give me a moment to break it down so you understand the components.

Hurt people hurt people, healing people heal people. To hurt people, it feels like healing people cause pain.. why because being it forces you to see that you also may be to blame for why things aren’t the way you want them to be. It doesn’t allow you to sit in a place of ignorance and bliss pretending you just don’t see. So it is not my place to force it to be.

I sit with hope that a day will come when you will be ready for more and when you do, you will find me there holding open the door.

I won’t beg you or bother you.. I will promise you and always remind you that you’re never truly alone and when you come knocking you will find that in my arms is always your home.

I don’t care to judge you trust me I understand, I have been there too so I won’t lie I am simply a huMan and I too have a dark side. The only difference is I picked mine apart I am clearing all that isn’t me away to find the brilliance of my heart.

The lies you tell you tell for yourself I understand that too, in a world built on deceit it’s what you’re forced to eat when you rely on the material world to fill the void inside.

That’s not the world where I want to live so this is the last thing I’m sorry for when it comes to me… I can’t play stupid when I see the truth, I won’t lie or pretend it’s not happening, I won’t stand for injustice so that I can remain untouched. I don’t blame anyone for what they have to do to survive the day. I do ask that you don’t blame me for trying to create a better way.

For me there is another way, yes it is lonely and yes I cry but I won’t give up, I will always try and until my time comes.

I rather be alone in my authenticity then allow another to speak hate to me or over me when it is not in truth. I have no issue taking the blame give it all to me so I can learn to but make sure when you do it’s in nothing less then absolute truth.

I have enough burdens to bare alone. All I ask is when you approach come with only truth and a willingness to grow because the truth is I need you I can’t do it alone.

I love you with all that I am, I don’t want anything from you other then what you want to share with me. I love you for you as I love me for me.

I won’t dim my light, I won’t hide my weird and I also won’t destroy your life by having you be associated with the likes of me…

So in the background of your world I exist creating my dreams of a world where we are free to simply be. I’ll protect my bubble and when we float by each other I’ll send you all the love you need.

I do not believe in coincidences, I believe in cause, effect and energy..

I believe each action causes a reaction and the reaction is what we could view as karma..

A direct result of a conscious choice… (irregardless of the intentions and understanding of the consequences).

Each person has the opportunity to affect the lives of someone they have never shared a personal space with or spoken too.

With there action a reaction which pushes the next action and reaction and so on and so forth… like a domino effect or wildfire it spreads.

I also believe that we are currently living in our own personal Hell specially crafted with the exact circumstances needed to give us a real shot to see the truth, ultimately freeing ourselves from the toxic cycles that keep us locked in.

With that being said I believe humans were intentionally deceived and led to worship the devil while calling him God without their knowledge.

I believe we are viewed by those is control as little more than cash cows.. it’s a wildly profitable industry that benefits off of our ignorance, complacency and laziness in pursuit of the truth.

We allow those in control to dangle shiny distractions as we feed ourselves with their intentionally poisoned food and watch their intentionally directed television shows designed to keep us distracted.

When it all falls apart we turn to a church that tells you to worship god and how to live a life of virtue and you run all in, trusting blindly only coming to realize that even though you followed all they said to do, you didn’t get into heaven you came back to do it all again.

Finding they gave you only what they wanted you to have, not what you truly needed to save your soul, it was partial and intentionally altered information.

We go to the doctors believing they have our best interest at heart and then they prescribe toxic drugs to fill a void left by a broken and corrupt world. Knowing that it could and would lead to far worse side effects. They kept from us the medicines nature provided in order to profit.

If we could begin to understand all the emotions and thoughts we have, if we could learn to communicate without blame, defense or judgement and begin holding those in power accountable we could build bridges to solving the issues.

The faster we can see it’s a working machine that is working against us. The closer we will be to changing the world we live in.

So no I do not believe in coincidences…. I believe in myself, /universe/energy/nature/higher power/ alpha & omega/source/Christ consciousness, you, the future, giving and receiving the necessary information to have a fighting chance.

I believe in divine guidance that leads us in the right direction, truth, signs and serendipity……

I believe in understanding emotions and learning to clearly, openly & honestly communicate from the heart. I believe in teaching the difference between comprehension and listening.

No I do not believe in coincidences. I absolutely believe in and trust myself with me. I absolutely believe & trust in you to know what is right for you, isn’t it time you did too? I trust in the unknown with all I am. I believe in love and love is the way to change!

Let’s have this discussion now once and for all, lets be open and honest. Let’s begin to listen and understand the different levels of perception and understanding we are all on.

While some will say to keep positive is to be all love & light. Asking you to keep the vibe high.. while you’re emotionally in pain only hurts us deeper in the long run. We just continue to suppress the emotions. When we do that we stop ourselves from reaching the level where we hold people accountable, we get stuck in cycles.

Let’s be honest people are notorious for making excuses instead of changes… because it’s comfortable enough to stay, but painful enough to complain so they become victims.

We yes we as healers, friends, family or lovers get sick of hearing it we’ve been there already and we understand exactly what’s happening. To be honest no one can save you but you and It’s draining to be around. Especially after I find myself repeatedly saying the same thing.

While you find yourself stuck we have kept on healing and progressing so we clearly see and know it can and must be done. We also know we can’t do it for you, only you can change it. Where once we have been kind and understanding even empathetic and patient to your problems. Now we know you’re choosing.

Yes now you’re making a choice, you’re choosing to stay where you are; so while you some say people are assholes or are gas lighting or triggering you, understand what is actually happening.

We those who care are simply sick of you wasting our energy & time. Countless hours we have given you freely, listening to you crying to us about the shitty things in your life.

Simply put we were there once too we made the changes and healed, you can too! Simply put do it or don’t but stop whining, shit or get off the pot you’re holding up space and someone that wants to make the change is waiting so move on…. all in love and light of course no harm intended just truth.

Those who refuse to make the changes for themselves are being assisted, situations and people are being removed for your higher good.

Either way the bottom line is this- no one can trigger what you’ve worked through fully. If you’re being triggered go back and clear it out; find out what still needs to be worked on. No one said perfection they only asked for progress.

Now that you know better do better!

I could lie to you, fluff and appease your ego, telling you how wrong they are to make you realize the truth. Much like everyone else you surround yourself with does, those who allow you to remain comfortably numb.

For me to do that wouldn’t be in alignment with my truth so I won’t.

I rather hurt your feelings in love then watch you die in a lie. Let’s be realistic those who choose to not say anything to you well it’s easier than being the bad guy and forcing you to see the part you play in your life.

Why because they don’t want to become the next victim of your victim mentality and slander crusade that usually follows in vain.

If I did that I wouldn’t be helping you at all. I simply wouldn’t be true to my calling in life. I wouldn’t be a healer at all I would allow you to blindly believe that you’re right; as I watch you miss all the opportunities to actually make it right and free yourself.

The reality is you create your life.. hard to accept I know, but there is no one left to blame. You didn’t cause the pain that broke and made you this way, it’s true you didn’t deserve it; that doesn’t change anything, it is still absolutely your responsibility to fix it now that you know.

Once you as an adult are made aware of the conflicts and issues between you and others, it is absolutely your own responsibility to handle your portion and take accountability.

It’s your responsibility to try to understand why.. why you get triggered or respond in certain ways. It is then your responsibility to heal and learn better ways to handle your emotions.

If you’re not willing to do so because you don’t care to I can understand your point.

However I cannot allow you to take advantage, be toxic, be manipulative, or a crappy person, without forcing your hand to take accountability for your actions… and remain in my life as you currently are.

I shouldn’t be expected to accept toxic behavior. I Set clear boundaries and expectations, then enforce them and hold the person accountable.

As parents how often do we mess up and throw out idle threats to control a situation Only to not consistently follow through.

Now this is the cycle we have helped to continue, its a consequence to not holding people accountable.

It is also a cycle we must break. In a world of hurt people, it has been easier to let others be crappy and treat us poorly. We get frustrated but we just chalk it off to a bad day. We continue to look the other way instead of facing the issue and taking the stress of being the “bad” guy by speaking up about it.

When we aren’t doing the right thing, or have forgotten our way.. it is time to be held accountable, and to be made aware of our actions.

It is time to set clear boundaries and expectations, time for clear conversations and a different level to comprehension!

We need to have the hard talks from a place of love without defensiveness or judgement. Continuing to allow the behavior and looking the other way because it’s easy is the problem.

Only you can break the cycles and make the change. Change begins at home and revolution begins as a whisper.