healing

WARNING Signs they’re abusive and possibly narcissistic!!

/ divinetemptations1111 / 2 Comments

Some signs of sexual, emotional and mental abusers and ways they manipulate.

If they make you feel bad if you don’t do what they want

If they force you to do things

If they intentionally ignore you when you need them

If they feel the need to punish or teach you a lesson

If they control you

If they talk badly about those you love to influence anger in you

If you can’t think straight when they’re talking during an argument you’re not crazy!!

If they tell you that you have said something you know you didn’t say, yet you clearly remember them saying. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY it’s one way they gaslight you and mentally and emotionally abuse you to intentionally confuse you.

They are absolutely aware start recording conversations if you have to!

If you can’t trust them

If they continue to hurt you once you’ve told them it hurts

If they call you names

If they touch you and you don’t want them too

If they punish you for asking them not to touch you or hurt you

If you rather sit in your car rather then go inside the house

When you can’t wait for them to leave for work

When your family doesn’t like them ask why!

If they dismiss your feelings

If they call you crazy

If they break things or hit things

If they flash a weapon during a fight

If their anger scares you

If they scream and belittle you

If they can’t be honest

If they say mean things to you

If your are crying because of how they make you feel.

If you’re in an abusive relationship

Are you their parent?

If the answer is no they’re not your responsibility, YOU ARE YOUR CHILDREN ARE YOUR ONLY RESPONSIBILITY IN THIS WORLD. Until your children are adults then we give them their space and we are always there then we’re able to again focus on us for the first real time.

You owe them nothing!

Get help call and find out what support you have available for your income level and fight like hell for your life.

If you stay I promise they will kill you, realize they’ve been doing it slowly this entire time and you’ve been allowing it and paying for it all in every single way.

Understand this!

/ divinetemptations1111 / Leave a comment


This is for all aspects home, work, life & love

If you can’t depend on those on your team they don’t belong on your team it’s what I’m learning right now.

Demote. Fire. Hire. Promote. Accordingly.

Stop wasting time we need people we can count on. People will gladly come to take whatever you have to give yet they can’t honor their commitments.

This is all beyond disgusting im over every one and everything when I stop to see the reality of it all and call it what it is.

People will continue to do what they want with zero regard to how it affects you, until you choose to stop it.
You set the bar for how others treat you.

Most people are only self serving they have no sense of responsibility or accountability.

There are no consequences to their poor behaviors so they do whatever the they want.

No issue there until it interferes with my life…

Keep your messy to yourself if it runs over to my side I will address

You have no one to blame for your adult life except you!

/ divinetemptations1111 / Leave a comment

By now we have had to come to the realization that we are the only ones at fault if the life we live isn’t one we love.

We alone choose what we accept and allow only when we become silent and small so we start allowing others to treat us as they wish with zero regard to how it makes us feel. This is how we begin to accept abuse.

We don’t speak up for our needs and then we whine when they go unmet. How many times do we have to ask, cry, hurt, beg or plead for bare minimum?

Do they have to approach you the same way for their basic needs to be met? Do they have to beg you for love, understanding, patience, kindness, care, attention, time, intimacy, romance or basic decency?

If your answer is no then why is it okay for you to have to beg to receive what you give so freely?

Are you understanding it yet…. Give what you get, get what you give or it’s not balanced or love it’s you accepting less while you give everything you have and leave yourself depleted, frustrated eventually it will become regret and disgust.

Save yourself find true love. You’ve dealt with enough bullshit.

Breaking news….. SAVE YOURSELF !!

/ divinetemptations1111 / Leave a comment

Stop complaining unless they intentionally did something to harm you.

If you’re not their child or lover they owe you nothing period.

I’m tired of your complaining so let me break it down.

They’re not supporting you because you’re not a thought to them they are focused on their own lives.

So stop putting your energy attention and worry into what everyone else is doing they clearly aren’t making you a focus.

All the time you spend worrying, complaining or posting you could be fixing yourself and building your life.

People are living for them you have to stop waiting for them to do what’s right they aren’t coming to save you.

You have to fight for you and focus on you or you only have yourself to blame for the condition of your life, it’s time to live for you!

If you want better go get it, I have busted my ass doing whatever I could to make sure we didn’t go without if you’re going without it’s because you’re keeping yourself there.

It’s time to get back to reality and wake up to the truth we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

We teach people how to treat us by what we accept if that’s how those people treat you they aren’t your people.

True story time October 2020 what a crime. Loving a narcissist.

/ divinetemptations1111 / Leave a comment

I had a mental breakdown during the pandemic after I had successfully left my narcissist and healed I had moved on happy in life and love finally rebuilding it was amazing. Now I will say I was finally simply being loved no longer abused and that was for the first time in my entire life.


It’s safe to say my standard and understanding of my self… care, value, worth had changed as the love continued to proved trustworthy and I was no longer allowing any toxicity in my life.

I also had a 21 year old and a 18yr old who was ready to not hear mom complaining he wasn’t ready to grow in the ways I expected.
Here comes my narcissistic abusive ex with promises of no rent or responsibility a total bro pad of course he jumped.


I was absolutely devastated how could he choose abuse over doing the right thing. It was easy to see it was comfortable and change was scary it means you had to be responsible and he simply wasn’t ready.

That wasn’t his fault it was mine too much time and energy trying to save a narcissist who was intentionally trying to destroy me and I was so blind I believed it was love and lost myself somewhere in time.

Anyway my world shattered I was trying to sort it all out, after a life of abuse we finally had a happy healthy home and we were thriving I tried to understand what I did wrong and I came undone.

They came for his belongings my ex made it violent I had to involve the authorities within days I was completely gone into despair pain anger confusion rage hate omg you name it I was embodying it.

Yet my mind and senses remained in tack so I was fighting with my 21 year old at 1 am I’m tired and hurt I want to sleep she wants to be heard and refuses to let me be.

I can no longer contain the pain in me it pours out in every word I speak it escalates quickly hands are placed I break free and walk away. Out front the door of my home where I find police officers coming up the stairs I stopped and talked to them and that was my biggest mistake I should have just kept walking into nature as I intended.

I thought I would be safe I thought I was doing the right thing.

I was never allowed home after that night I lost everything and now I have pending charges on my life.

I’m not allowed to speak any more while it’s pending funny free isn’t free..I can’t speak on those who wronged me I’m on trial how can it be? It feels like a witch hunt to me. I also have footage I’m not stupid you see. A change is here and it began with me!

Narcissist Vs Empath

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When it comes to what you think you know about a person and who they truly are you know nothing.

Many will only show you the parts of themselves that they want you to see. Remember that they can only share what they are ready to reveal to themselves.

You know only what people tell you

People will tell you only what they want you to know and only the version they want you to hear.

Human nature is to present the best version to fit into society and give people the best first impression.

Over time the truth of who a person truly is starts to be revealed once they’ve obtained their goal in securing a relationship with you, many will come to find a shift has occurred.

Suddenly things that were once relevant and meant the most fade, you start to see the person isn’t quite the same as they presented themselves to be when you first met and started your relationship.

Here is the kicker look back you will often come to find that the red flags and warning signs were all around.

The problem you loved them absolutely you didn’t see them for who they were….

In my case because of past trauma I believed the way I was being treated was my fault, something I had done wrong so I internalized it and believed I was unworthy, broken.

I felt If I could find the proper way to love, if I stoped being so me, if I would just do what they were asking and stopped being so disagreeable I would be enough.

So I made myself very small and I stopped fighting for me and I prayed they would go back to the person they were when it all began.

I never stopped to think they weren’t caring or loving me in the same way. Never did I imagine they weren’t there for love but only for what they could take from me to help them feel better about what they could never be.

If someone has to take something from you it is because they lack the ability to create it for themselves.. IF THEY TOOK FROM YOU ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE A GIFT BE GOOD TO YOURSELF.

So while I was pouring all my love and care into them they were more then happy to take it all with no regard to me, I begged and pleaded for the abusive behaviors to change but they didn’t cease.

When I was drained completely, there was no love for me there was no care or healing reciprocity there was nothing not even a thought.

I was discarded this is what happens when you fall in love with a narcissist you’re in it for love they’re in it for the challenge of the game.

Life is full of narcissistic ways it’s time we stop destroying others and calling it love.

Welcome to the battle of humanity and love this is end game.

It’s not you actually yes it is…

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Listen no one is gonna come save you, you have to stand up and say enough is enough. If your life isn’t what you want it’s time to stand up and take control stop focusing on all the ways the hurt you and start showing yourself that you were not what they made you feel and the ways they have hurt you.


That is completely on them you never deserved the pain.
Now your life is your responsibility and it’s time you take accountability for how you let others treat you.


This is your life stand up and fight to make your dreams come true you have a beautiful heart and soul you deserve peace and love but you have to stand up for yourself if you want it.

When you honor yourself, when you walk in your authenticity and full integrity there is nothing left to fear.

Stop waiting for others to do what’s right for you that’s your job.

We teach others how to treat us by what we allow it’s time to make ourselves a priority in our own life.

Letter to my father John N Irizarry

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See I am forced to go public the pain is too much to hold I didn’t leave and abandon you I was a year old.

Yet I paid with my mind, heart, little body and soul. When I found you at 18 you had an amazing life that’s for sure.. I didn’t fit in I was a burden you said it and walked away yet again.

Then 2019 came I hadn’t heard from you in such a long time I was honestly ecstatic maybe this was it my time to matter to you, sadly it was not instead your mother was dying and none of your children cared to support you. Carly a sister that isn’t a sister to me had you reach out and hand that burden to me.

Family means everything and I was so grateful until you all took advantage and tried to use me you have to understand how that confused me and still I paid for it all, just to spend time making memories it was worth it I thought.

Then my birthday or Christmas not even a card did I receive I finally broke down and why didn’t you care about me? Your response broke my heart and my mind my spirit started to break free.. After what you said to me.

It wouldn’t be fair to your sisters yours hers and another sisters, I was devastated this is a joke right this is the first chance to do something nice and try to make up for all you never cared to do. Yet you were my father why did her daughters get two yet I got none. That hurt little girl isn’t done and she will be heard.

Your cruel words help crash down my world I had a mental breakdown from this disease of insanity you all handed to me by not behaving like adults and handling your responsibilities.

Have a conversation like an adult you literally created this chaos by ignoring your responsibility now the issue came in when u suffered my entire childhood because youcouldnt do the right thing. Then you blame and shame me for my lack of success who are you to put that on me?

You laid in the bed and got my mother pregnant you chose to walk away and never help.
You didn’t care if I lived or died and still to this day you can’t be bothered to make the wrongs right.

Instead you’re so worried about maintaining the status you tried to secure yourself with a false image that you present.
I won’t live ignored hidden taking all the blame I will speak and be heard.
Men like you are the problem in this world.
I will do all I can to change this and use my pain as the example.

Are you the villain?

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They call us victims and truth is we are… they hurt, lie, destroy and manipulate affecting our lives for their own benefit.

With zero regard to how we would be affected, we were the victims. Into silence we were shamed because we loved them and wanted to be loved to be accepted by them.

We allowed them to do whatever because we really loved and didn’t know any better. We were children learning, we learned to do as we were told.

We paid the ultimate price holding all the secrets we never told.


We with our children had to live with the repercussions of their actions and our lives were extremely negatively impacted.

We were set up way below the bar of a normal healthy stable starting point in life many of us struggle to achieve what everyone else was helped to achieve and already received a stable foundation.

Instead of love, understanding and help we received the blame, shame, judgment, negativity, guilt, hate and shit talking all over our innocent names.

You threw us away instead of facing your shame and taking the blame it’s because of you it started this way, no heat we were so overcome in pain we had no way to even begin to think of an escape.


We had no idea of what was happening to us this had been the only way of life and love we’ve ever known, we had no one else this was our home.

We didn’t know we were allowed to take back control of ourselves and our lives and make it our own!

I’ve been blamed my whole life now I’m proud to be the villain, truth will be spoken. In case you haven’t realized silent children grow up to be loud adults looking for justice!

I was possessed by the devil and you may be too. I found my way out of hell so can you!

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I was possessed by the devil

The devil of our society.

I was corrupted from my innocence with all the perverted ways they taught me.

I was abandoned in the depths of hell an innocent child left to fend for herself.

I was sent into the darkest abyss of the deranged heart and mind.

I paid the full price for crimes that were not mine.

I love and cared the whole time,

Yet none would return the love unconditionally only with terms would they agree to tolerate me, using a toxic love to placate me as they twisted my heart and manipulated me.

Not one until she, a love so pure, it set me free simply by allowing me to be loved just for being me.

A safe place to finally breathe to lay my head and take the walls down slowly to see who she truly was and what she came to offer me.

Would it be a lesson or a blessing? I always knew the lesson was she is my greatest blessing in love, finally I found peace. Now it was time to break free from the shackles that had bonded me into a fake love interwoven with toxicity.

A new way I had come to see one where love and peace would exist independent of toxicity and the path is easy only the truth need to be spoken and understood.

Sounds well and good yet willful ignorance isn’t to be underestimated or misunderstood. It is the cancer in our society and it doesn’t do anyone any good.