hell

If you’re seeing this it’s meant for you too!!! ♾🤍

/ divinetemptations1111 / Leave a comment

Dear me,

I am so proud of you!!

What I’ve watched you go through, the heart break and suffering in silence, you’ve fought your way through it all!

You searched for a better way and kept your heart pure. You made your focus on true love and what is right for all. You kept unconditional love, understanding and concern in your heart and lived it at all times.

You never judged another you simply tried to understand the differences and respected everyone equally and their ways, understanding your way isn’t the only way and that is just fine.

I know you’re scared and tired. I know you feel like this pain will never end, I know in your heart and soul you can’t accept that to be the truth.

I’m so proud of you because it wasn’t for nothing and dreams do come true.

The pain is coming to an end it’s the Dawn of Anew way forward together!

New days are here. Those with pure hearts please lift your heads once and for all.

You’re divinely protected in the heart of infinite love.

I AM is here.

The days in life when things changed forever.

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There are specific days in my life that stay with me always. They are the days I look on and wish I had known then what I now know. These days are the days I trusted in others to tell me what made sense and I was striving to do better, be better and give my children a better chance at a bright future. This day in particular became the pinnacle of my destruction.

Kristy I thought was different everyone liked her, she was fun and outgoing. Kristy seemed responsible she had a good job, her family was in her life and she was pursuing me. I had just left an abusive relationship with a control freak who was a manipulative cheater and an emotional abuser so Kristy stepped in like a breath of fresh air.

I was so blinded.

I had friends or so I had thought, it turns out this would be a most valuable lesson. People don’t do what’s right they typically don’t care what’s right they do what is socially acceptable.

Allow me to explain. I was living a decent life abuse had been something I had always known. Even with my diagnosis’s I was fighting for my life, it was suddenly falling into place. I had just been awarded my social security disability and I had a nice rental home for me and the kids, I was surrounded by what I believed we’re friends and family that cared for us.

Yet no one, not one of the people who called my children their niece and nephew thought to warn me. Kristy was a convicted felon multiple times over and a active alcoholic and crack smoker/drug user. I was naive to say the very least and alcoholics were not new to me so I saw it as normal and she hid the drug use.

As the relationship progressed I ignored the red flags, my daughter hated her I thought it was preteen angst. I was selfish and wanted peace, happiness and stability for my children and myself. Kristy was right there promising the sun, moon and stars. Little did I know how she and her family would spend our entire relationship tearing us down, emotionally and mentally abusing us, while stealing everything I had and mentally destroying me.

The worst part is it was all avoidable, at any point anyone of my best friends who claimed to love us and who knew her and her family personally could have said Tami she isn’t good for you. Yet not one did and I understand oh it’s no ones place however innocent children were there so yes as humans it was absolutely the time and place to speak up.

Silence prevailed.

So when Kristy suggested we move into her parents home to save money to buy a house and start our lives, I felt it was an absolute blessing! It was perfect her parents had a 3 bedroom apartment in the basement of their home and we wouldn’t be charged rent. I gave up my rental and we moved. This is where I went wrong.

Once I left my freedom, giving up my independence and trusting the words she was saying. I was sitting on 15,000 cash from back pay with social security and I was on over 18 different medications for my mental health. I was doing the best I could to recover from my past and how it was supposed to be my time to finally give my kids the life they deserved. We moved into Kristys parents house.

Life went dark almost immediately and Kristy became a completely different person we took control of all of the money and food became scarce she was working all the time so I didn’t understand.

She was drinking more and more and becoming cruel and angry all of the time. She took control of my child support and social security and convinced me that we didn’t need my car because I drove hers and she had the work truck so I listened to her and sold my vehicle. She instantly took the money.

I was stuck and didn’t have the proper help to leave it was a bad situation to a bad situation, I had no safe place to run. Life was unhealthy for me. I’m writing this and it is hard but has to be written. Ladies and men please find the knowledge and wisdom within this.

Love doesn’t hurt. Love is never manipulating. Love is not controlling. When it is love it heals and helps. Love never destroys, love is not toxic. Any one who secludes you from family or friends seeks to control you by controlling who influences you. They wish to keep you only listening to them so that you stay ignorant to what they’re doing. please don’t let yourself become a victim.

Looking back now I see the pattern and all of us face it, one way or another the point is we no longer have to. If we can identify these behaviors we can prevent destruction. If we warn each other we can help to heal this world instead of watching idly by as good people become victims to the evil ways of narcissistic people.

Mental health

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I suffered a mental health crisis during a pandemic and became homeless without any warning.

I’m so afraid to open my mouth to speak

What if the words that come out escape me

What if I lose control and speak a language that nobody knows

What if I start again speaking in tongues how long before the law man comes

How long before I’m locked away in another place for the mentally spiritually insane

Perception is funny especially when based in fact to the one who speaks truth

The one who can choose to see only facts

When the emotions are removed in pursuit of a deeper truth

Which ways to seek the right and wrong of a world where justice doesn’t only not prevail but intentionally fails

Truth seekers are punished and shamed all so they can hold on to the old ways

Morals and values based on what system when the words they teach are spun into webs to connect the lies they force you to respect

Protect and serve oh lord the nerve

Only with the right color and right social status do they care

Anything less then white or wealthy is undesirable so trust in your ruin they won’t fail

They blame for acting out but no one wonders why or what brought it about

Lock you up and throw away the key that’s what they do even when you believe your free

Source of it all on you I do call tell me how to proceed when I’m so scared of another fall

Absolutely terrified to be myself I’ve walked so many times through these levels of hell now I’m lost

The wrong one not a son unwanted daughter of that one

How to leave the pain behind when I am so scared to step outside

Some would say paranoid but that isn’t the case

I learned first hands what it feels like to have them bruise your face heart and soul and smile at you as they do it because they know

Simply put born on the wrong side of the tracks gets you discredited for all that you lack

Raised in trauma and pain your life was never meant to be the same

Not simple not easy the cross you bare is heavy and greasy

So every time you begin to walk on your path you struggle to keep your footing

You stumble you crawl but each time you get up after the fall

So for the comfort and safety you live like your existence is a sin

Hiding your face away is the only thing that calms the fears that come each day

You have a choice continue this way hoping to fade away

Take a stand and take control, if it isn’t obvious by now I’m here to stay.

So sit down my friend and pull up a chair

This story is familiar and one we all share

Share your truth it’s the only way to change it for the ones to come

This battle is old but together we can overcome

There has to be a better way better days ahead for everyone

For all not just some what was done in the darkness can be undone

The end is here.

/ divinetemptations1111 / Leave a comment

Honestly it’s a tale as old as time and goes even deeper.

Emotionally and for our wellbeing we need others and that’s a simple fact, yet this world has told us it is weak and codependent to need others yet life alone cannot be sustained one would absolutely go insane without love and interaction look at castaway with Wilson.

Yes while we feel like we would be better alone we’re not wrong either not exactly anyway but nonetheless we’re still wrong we’re buying into the division they try to create it became every man out for themselves and that’s where destruction ruled over and won.

Now it’s high time we realize that we realize all that division did was cause heartbreak anger pain and regret it caused struggles and financial worries that didn’t need to be, children were placed in vulnerable and dangerous situations because the familial support was removed.

Now we struggle and destroy each other and all we really want to do is pull each other close and make it better together and put the pain of the past behind us finding a better way forward together.

If ego and pride could be set aside and people would feel comfortable being vulnerable and openly taking to one another without fear of judgement.

Then we can begin to listen to our hearts and find we’ve been waging wars against ourselves and we don’t have to anymore it’s time for a new way forward into our future together for all!

Love doesn’t hurt control does!

loy·al

adjective
1 giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.”loyal service”
This is the problem there is no allegiance or loyalty to others we started idolizing material and Wealth we lost sight of what matters the most!

Loyalty to each other family and love,loyalty to the truth and loyalty to what is right is what is lacking in this country.

We made things more important than people.

Everyone set their sights on what they wanted materially and sacrificed those who care for them to get it.

Now everyone has to learn that this is where they have lacked in humanity and in love and what’s right. This is what I meant when I said keeping your heart pure, while yea I want more I’m not about to destroy a innocent someone to get it.

I’m grateful for what I have throughout the struggles and I know better days will come. I strive to help others who are suffering because I know the pain as well, I also know together we can change it for everyone.

A new way forward exists when you’re ready I’m here.

As I lay me down to sleep.

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As I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul will keep, if I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

If I shall wake another day I pray the Lord shows man the way, to clarity and understanding that right is only right, when it is right for all. Or it isn’t right for all.

Each interaction I lose more hope, the cruelty and lack of understanding, humanity is losing hope and I can’t take anymore pain. Why do I fight for change when it remains the same and I’m always the one to blame?

I do it because I deserved better than what happened to me, we all did and we can’t change the past. What we can do is change ourselves and stop it from happening in the future. We didn’t realize the damage that was happening in time and our children had to endure the pain as well.

Our grandchildren deserve better and change comes when we start openly honestly communicating with each other and holding the appropriate people responsible and accountable for their actions.

We can stop blaming the victims and stop protecting the villains as we claim ignorance, it continues to happen because many play deaf dumb or blind.

They Can’t comprehend how someone can lose it all, they’ve never had to struggle, they’ve never had to truly fall. For them I’m glad they had the right support in life. Some of us aren’t so fortunate after all.

Instead of trying to understand, or even wonder how it would feel if it were them. They make hate filled judgments and laugh at the pain.

If this is what it’s all for please don’t wake me anymore, I’m tired. I want to rest now.

Now if you want to open hearts and restore faith please send me forth for all days!

Hey God it’s me. Today is certainly a day, I’m sure so many of us feel the same.

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I’m sick to my stomach, stress and anxiety are absolutely heightened my PTSD is triggered and I’m again finding that all of this was caused by the immature and wrong actions of another.

Yet here I am left dealing with the consequences of those inactions or actions, depending on how you want to look at it. Now what I want to know is when does it stop?

When do we begin holding adults accountable for their narcissistic temper tantrums? When do we say enough is enough to toxicity and take a stand against it once and for all?

I know I’m standing up to answer the call, not just because it affects me alone, but when you think of it this blatant disregard for humanity affects us all.

Let’s take it back to my landlord let’s call him Mr. My father is a real estate attorney, aka Mr. Privilege. I rent an illegal home attached to air bnb, the part about it being illegal was unknown to me. Until today when I was forced to look up building codes, that’s another story for another day.

Right here right now I’ve got too much to say, I can’t stop now or I’ll let this train get away. So back to where I am currently. I pay $1595 to live where I do, it’s absolutely beautiful and exactly what I needed at the perfect time too.

What I also didn’t know is that my landlord Mr.Privilege wasn’t as nice of a guy as I thought. Again my desire to see the good in others still has the ability to blind me against the reality of who they are proving to be. Note taken!! So when the latest air bnb’s guest brought their dogs, I was absolutely startled they arrived after we were in bed and the dogs were going nuts.

I didn’t blame them it’s a scary to be in a new place, I know it can be rough. So in the morning when the owners left I wasn’t really shocked that the dogs were barking non stop. After two and a half hours of non stop barking, I was really getting concerned and my nerves were beginning to wear thin. I messaged my landlord and here is where this drama begins.

The first text and his response was absolutely fine!he even apologized, the air bnb people came back and took care of the dogs all was fine. My landlord even checked to make sure the dogs had calmed down, what a great guy!

Crisis adverted but would I be so lucky the next time they went out again? The answer was no and for $1595 a month I didn’t sign up to feel as if I was living in a kennel, it didn’t seem fair but I shrugged my shoulder and went on without a care.

I went out and enjoyed my day, went into nature and spent time with a friend. Came back to my house to make dinner and it started again. The dogs wouldn’t stop barking with every sound I would make once their parents left them they must have been scared in a new place. I reached out again for help after another 2 & 1/2 hours.

This time I wasn’t met with kindness, instead I was treated as an inconvenience bullied slandered attacked threatened and now I’m being evicted. I wish there was some amazing tale to tell you but in all honesty that’s the long and short of it. This time at least I noticed and stood up for myself this time right away.

So this is what Mr. Privilege had to say.. I’m not doing this all summer with the air bnb guests you have 60 days to get out. You’re in violation of your lease. He also tried to throw some false accusations my way. The problem is this when you lie manipulate and bully someone it’s just not a good look.

Oh let me tell you about last Sunday, this one was really for the books! In my lease I have a back lot, it’s my parking and yard area I pay for it. So Mr. Privilege comes to assert toxic male dominance and brings a male counterpart each with a big truck to further intimidate me. He tells me to move my car, my personal vehicle from my parking area so he can park his trailer there right now or he is towing my car.

Literally no joke.

I have already at this point explained that I will be spoken to as an equal and to please keep it professional and business like, I’m not your friend, child, mother or wife. I am your tenant and we have a legally binding contract to be withheld on both sides. All I am asking for is basic human decency and consideration.

I know I am more then considerate when he asks me to throw away the air bnbs trash as recycling every week. As well as all the nights I can’t even sleep in my own home because of endless parties until after 2 am.

Guess what.. Nope I am not the one hosting them, but anywhere you sit in my home you wouldn’t know the difference. It’s so loud I think there’s something that helps with noise is it proper installation?

Regardless, here I am now and allow me to explain the layout of my house as I sat at home today, then we can get to why I’m truly feeling this way. We shall begin with a picture!

See those steps? That’s my front door, the cars aren’t mine they are from the air bnb.

So I have exactly one exit, you enter it’s my kitchen you go upstairs and I am above the air bnb. No escape, no back door, no front escape I’m literally surrounded. However this is the funny thing I wouldn’t have cared. It was their mother’s 80th birthday! I didn’t say a word.

So let’s rewind to 5:22 am this Sunday morning , I receive an email from Mr.Privilege about a review the previous air bnb rental made. I will enclose all info because I need your input guys. What would you do? If this were you and you lived here? I can’t afford to move and I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Yet to me it seems clear.

Email from Mr.Privilege
The air bnb review but look below there’s proof!
Again that’s my front door no other entrance or exit point.
However the air bnb renters are given a back yard with gazebo and ping pong table, grill etc and an entire front yard. This isn’t it this is a common driveway shared my multiple units there’s isn’t included they also have separate parking up front.

This was my reply to my landlord.

As per your request I am only to email you after you told me you were falsely evicting me in 60 days because you weren’t going to do this all summer with the air bnb guests. Then you persist to email me this telling me about complaints again completely unheard of and you’ve never before mentioned it. Now what you have done and I can’t comprehend how an adult business man can literally be fueled by emotion and not logic. Which was what I asked for when dealing with. Speak to me as an equal I am not your child.

Regardless I will address your message. That is not at what happened yet moving as per your response I am only to email you. The thing about opinions they are interesting, however they are not facts. I can absolutely provide proof of interactions and witnesses which were outside at the time.  

I was outside smoking on my porch mid day I am absolutely well within my rights to be on my porch in my area on phone and ask some to quiet down, it’s one of the minimal spaces I have. It’s a drive way not yard. In the same aspect the same consideration is what I’ve been asking for yet you have a problem with me when I ask for it. However you have no issue accepting my rent. Please make it make sense. 

Moving forward let’s readdress this false eviction based on lies on 2/19/2022 you stated We have 60 days were being evicted because I asked you for you help with the dogs at the air bnb the instant you lied and accused me you’re right the dynamic absolutely changed. How would you feel if someone slandered your good name with lies? 

Now you come with this.

What?!???!??!??!?
Crickets ever since 🦗 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗

Yet I’m the one in tears all day with my stomach in knots. How is this right for anyone at all? What if it were you?

Thank you for reading it really does help to write it all out and put it into perspective for me. Maybe when things get hard try writing about it, you really do feel better since you’re not forced to silently hold it all in.

Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day!! Happy birthday to the 80 year old granny in the attached house many many more amazing years for you to come! What a beautiful gift to celebrate someone! I hope at that age I’m that blessed. A little understanding saves a lot of unneeded stress! 🤍🕊♾

Hurt people hurt people and they sometimes do not know it.

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The truth is hurt people hurt people.

Have you ever wondered why?
Perhaps we should try and understand if we contributed to the hurt that these people are unleashing.

Understand this loves, If you personally hurt someone and it was intentionally or unintentionally they have the right to how they feel.

If you truly love them you will be willing to listen to understand without being defensive, If we can start living with understanding instead of judgement perhaps we can acknowledge that we are all suffering and trying to do the best we can.

If you didn’t have any hand in hurting them perhaps show a little grace and realize they may not know a better way exists.

Kindness matters to yourself and others.
It helps to heal hearts, then we can find who we truly are under all the pain we’ve endured. It’s time we do better together educate each other. Hold all as accountable as you hold yourself.
🕊🤍♾~ Tami Irizarry
We can change this world together!

Rainbow Warriors Rise

/ divinetemptations1111 / 2 Comments

So much talking.

With nothing much to say.

In a world where there are so many haven’t been taught how to properly understand emotions, how to openly communicate without being defensive. Lets be real conversations aren’t that deep, no one really knows what they’re trying to say…. let alone what’s being said and you can forget about them hearing you because most people don’t know how to listen to hear, instead they listen to respond. Then you have to also understand comprehension and perception because the ability to truly comprehend isn’t as simple as you think… instead of clarifying to be sure our message was heard we jump to assume it was. Ironically we need to change it but nothing ever changes until it is addressed, but where do we begin to address it in a world conditioned to silent obedience? 

Some turn a blind eye to the issues they can’t control and hide behind the veil of ignorance trying to discredit the issues they deem don’t involve them that is how.. Privileged Society pushes forward ignoring all the tears and cries they turn up the music, buy a pretty mask to cover the ugly truth. Their hearts filled with rage, their souls lost in feelings they can’t put into words. The world is begging to be healed as it is ravaged in every imaginable way. Broken children searching for hope, hearts longing for a savior in any form at all, something, anything just to feel a little bit of peace. A beautiful distraction from the pain sounds so so good in this cold and evil world, please understand the price we end up paying is far too deep. The privileged walk on by not concerned with you nor I. Something shifts.. they are worried but they keep up appearances not wanting to accept what is coming for them. There lives start to crack and chaos begins to flood in, lying to themselves afraid to admit who they have truly been. The privileged were given all the opportunities to make a difference and fully heal the pain resulting in permanent change, to make amends for all the wrong that had been done. Miserably they failed and instead took full advantage and now because of greed they lose it all. 

You know them, the privileged ones they are the ones who said they’re better then me & you, they are the powerful, they are in charge, they’re too important, they’re too busy, they’re to stressed… too care about the matters of family or the heart. No light on within seeking to fill the void, quietly yet violently they fill themselves with all the distractions and entrapments they can find that allows them to continue to play this part. They can’t remove the mask and if they even tried they would see it’s one of millions in this world of evils, cancers and greed this is the only place where they will ever succeed.

The messages from source come out of the mouths of divine messengers much like me and you. Knowing the gateway to the soul is reached only by those whose hearts are touched by the arts, music became a new way to experience life. The privileged had the knowledge and wealth so they gained control of the way the message was presented and Instead of invoking peace while listening, we were only allowed to experience the messages through a chaos frequency. Chaos started overflowing more frequently and people were believing the lies they were fed over their own knowing and truth. They started to accept restrictions over freedom, then they chose convenience over care and they started saying love when they should have said pain while they were trying to describe pleasure everything was so confusing because nobody spoke they got confused and hate disguised and called love. 

With all the control they had, it was easy to make everyone fall in line. We watched as our natural medicines were ripped away, we watched as our healers were hunted, tortured and burned. Secretly they hoped that they would never return. They told us the truth when they said the devil is the the king of Hell. What they neglected to mention is that we all know him very well. Too many manipulations occurred so naturally we learned it easier to accept it and be complacent then to fight and die. That we simply didn’t hear them all the times they said devils name was God. You certainly didn’t question the words from above, that is unheard of what would you be thought of! 

Time is fickle and funny it’s true. The stories were hidden & the lies became truth, With each life lost, each broken heart and tortured soul… we lost all the traditions and the ways of the old. We lost our culture our traditions our magick. Our souls shattered like glass into small fractions of truth. Through the lessons we were once forced to learn, our memories faded and we adopted their ways as our own. We began to want the lies they sold us. Trying desperately to fit in and be part of their history. what high prices to have access to a little decency. The food they provided us so convenient and so tasty we couldn’t understand the fact they were knowingly leading us to our graves early. 

We started to blindly trust all they said and did, we believed the organized medical care system had our best interests at heart. They happily allowed us to believe, its great they have an cure for anything and everything.. it’s the one stop cure all never realizing the price we soon would pay for it all.

Through it all there were very few could truly still see. Segregated and divided, alone they stood each of them holding the light of divinity, Waiting for the others to answer the call.. This is where I come in and it’s a pleasure to meet you all. Call me Tami I know you think you don’t know me. That’s okay I know who you are and we have some commonalities. I am the only me I can be but they call us the black sheep’s, the loners, the freaks, the throw away kids, the left behinds, the forgottens, the abuseds, the addicts, the lunatics, the unloveds, the ones persecuted, the ugly , the tortured, the oddballs, the lesbians, the fat people, the gays, the losers, the different ones, the weirdos, the troubled children in the eyes of privileged society. We are the same we are the ones they tried to destroy, the ones they burned, enslaved, ruined, desecrated. RETURNED!

We are the product of hopes and dreams, we are the rhythms of drums found in countless heartbeats. We are the the lineage of the true Source of it all. Christ consciousness, love, integrity, truth, justice, balance, honor, karma, darkness brought to light. We are all the dreams of the women and men, ages, races from all shades the black, the browns, the yellows, the reds, the whites, the greens. We are the Rainbow Warriors.

Into the truth we light the way, we pave the path. We stand proudly remembering who we are, awakened to it all hear our message near and far! The time has come for the false to pay, the scales of justice have had no balance for too long. Anything gained by intentionally harming another is starting to be removed for all the pain every, every tear, every bit of innocence lost, every thievery, every heartbreaking moment that was caused in all lives, with evil intent in the names of lies, while they greedily stood right by. While they fed you lies and made you bow, telling you all the ways your were wrong, purposely making you regret the day you were born. 

Redemption is here and Bob wasn’t wrong this my loves is your redemption song…. Repay you they will and the generations to come until they have satisfied all the karmic debt that is to be repaid for every generation, life, blessing and family member they have stolen away from you and stolen from. They will pay for the pain every, every tear, every bit of innocence lost, every thievery, every heartbreaking moment that was caused in all lives, with evil intent in the names of lies.

Judgement is hear the day has come, they walk amongst you the chosen ones, the overlooked and overwhelmed the meek as they were called.

Now are called to stand at the completion of their Grand Rising.

Phoenix you are reborn.

The time is here take your rightful place and inherit the earth.

The efforts and trials you have endured have not been in vain.

The battles you fought and all you have lost wasn’t without purpose.

The day of reckoning is here, rejoice in knowing the glory is yours!

The blessings will now begin to flow. 

Stand firm in your truth and continue to grow there is more to come do not stop now.

The only way to fully ascend is to clear all the old baggage out.