self help

Hurt people hurt people and they sometimes do not know it.

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The truth is hurt people hurt people.

Have you ever wondered why?
Perhaps we should try and understand if we contributed to the hurt that these people are unleashing.

Understand this loves, If you personally hurt someone and it was intentionally or unintentionally they have the right to how they feel.

If you truly love them you will be willing to listen to understand without being defensive, If we can start living with understanding instead of judgement perhaps we can acknowledge that we are all suffering and trying to do the best we can.

If you didn’t have any hand in hurting them perhaps show a little grace and realize they may not know a better way exists.

Kindness matters to yourself and others.
It helps to heal hearts, then we can find who we truly are under all the pain we’ve endured. It’s time we do better together educate each other. Hold all as accountable as you hold yourself.
🕊🤍♾~ Tami Irizarry
We can change this world together!

Bless up and open to truth. This is what I do with unsolicited advise.

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Allow me to share this nugget of knowledge with you.
Release the beliefs that you know anything about another, you do not you simply know yourself and what you don’t wish to acknowledge within is shown to you through your interactions with others.
Before you should anyone remember this, don’t tell me what I should do and I won’t tell you what you should do.
When we avoid our own healing because we’re too stuck to realize it is us crying to be healed, we project it on to others and while that is beautiful and so sharing it’s important to give that love and attention to yourself. Bless up Queens and Kings. 🤍🕊♾ Love Forevermore -Tami Irizarry.

love #peace #westandunited #spirituality #healing #StopPretending #getright #getready #getreal #lovethelifeyoulive #livethelifeyoulove #NoMoreExcuses2022

What’s the matrix??

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Hello love and welcome!!

I know how overwhelming this can all feel. So the best way I can describe the matrix is to describe you first. Allow me to explain, when you were born you were perfect absolutely full of unconditional love and innocence.

As you grew and others were responsible to help you to learn and mature. They may have taught you some ways that weren’t right or created some pain within you. Now as an adult you’re finding who you were before the world told you who you were.

The matrix is anything that tells us what to think or feel rather then allowing us to simply be who we are and embracing it. The matrix is those in control who seek to remain in control over power and greed.

They do this with lies and through intentional manipulation they have a say over what information we are given.

They rely on fear and hate, to do and to take as they wish without consideration or consequences.

So now here we are as a human race and we’re not unintelligent, we are not so soft spoken anymore, we are not afraid and we are coming together to stand for what is right for all.

We are informing and educating as we do our best to uplift, heal and encourage each other on our journeys when our paths cross. I hope that has helped to give you a better understanding. If you have any other questions feel free to ask! We’re all in this together!

We’re all in this together!

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I’m asking for your help to grow this page. For far too long many have wandered in search of answer with no safe place to find them. There are far too many people alone and struggling with the same questions and with no one to ask. Simply because they’re scared of being judged.

Now im a straight shooter and I am not emotion based when it comes to the right and wrong of life. Right is right for everyone or no one at all.

So if you don’t want it done to you don’t do it to anyone else.
Be kind put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
I know many have a lot of questions and are struggling.

I’m opening a Free Q&A about the journey and how to progress. At https://www.facebook.com/groups/1163348093828054/.

This will remain open free now and forevermore!

This group is not here to judge. I know that this journey that I am on personally there is no way for anyone to understand what I am personally experiencing first hand, with that understanding I don’t judge another soul.

What I do is seek to understand, I ask for clarity instead of assuming so I ask that you try that way while interacting with each other let’s keep it a safe space for all.

On different levels we experience different vibrations and emotions. Some are new. Some advanced. All absolutely where they are meant to be and all equally important.

These are basic human decencies, we’re all in this together let’s bring humanity back!!
For too long we’ve lost our way, I need your help to grow this group and make real change!!!

Remember I am my own healer.

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So while I spent this early morning revisiting the past. It is now 8:00am and the birds are chirping. it is a beautiful day to be alive!

The one thing I have learned is that I am the one who chooses how I experience this life and I choose to be happy. Too much of my life has been controlled by the actions of others. I won’t allow that again, it is my life and I live it for me.

I guess I am telling you this to help remind you, no matter how bad the past is, how dark the depression there is hope. When it gets bad put your hand over your feel it beating and know my love you are a work of art! I love you all.

Hold on change is coming although it hurts to grow, its necessary. We deserve love, peace and happiness. Freedom from all the shackles that have held us back.

Featured

I woke up in tears. People make me laugh.. It’s not tears of joy!

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Today depression came back full force. It’s 4:48 am I’ve been up since 3 as usual.

I’m trying to understand why it’s hitting so hard as if it’s really hard to understand that reliving the trauma of the past will also bring up pain and I will be easily triggered.

People are the topic of the conversation today. Fucking people, sorry not sorry, people are the worst. Me included trust me as much as I am love and light, I am equally fast and furious if you intentionally try to play with me.

I see the things you do before you do them, most people are simply going in circles like ants with a chalk outline.

People please don’t be afraid to think outside of the box of social expectations and conditioning. This is your personal life, when are you going to live it as you wish?

Instead, many continue repeating the motions of what they were taught and never wonder what the hell we’re doing here. The amount of predictability is insane.

So let me say open your mind, ignorance is no excuse. You deserve to live a life of love and peace. It can never happen if you are a life boat to everyone drowning around you.

If you didn’t know I’m about to tell you. You are welcome!!

Energy and Time are more valuable then money.

No one owes you a thing so if they share themselves with you appreciate them.

Say what you mean, mean what you say.

Talk only truth.

Don’t say it if you’re not going to do it.

Words are powerful.

You can’t change the meaning of the word because you don’t like it.

Just because you want to be right doesn’t mean you’re right.

Facts over emotions will save you everytime.

Individual pain and trauma is no competition.

Honor your obligations.

Healing truly begins when you stop allowing people to treat you like shit while your being nice to them.

Stop being nice and let’s start being real with each other!

By being nice we’re only allowing shitty behavior to continue.

Please have basic decency.

Kindness is natural so be kind yes but never fake and to me, if I have to tell you to be nice it means that you no longer feel the need to be nice and I trust you with you so.. YOLO

Common sense is sadly not common.

It should be.

Communication is key.

Ask for clarity before you assume.

Not everyone is your friend. Seriously most only want something from you as long as it’s equal give and take there are no issues. When it’s one sided reevaluate.

If they ignore you but you are there for them regardless of your personal situation… Pull back.

How are you going to give all you are to someone else just for it to be take for granted or disregarded? Stop giving it away.

Turn the attention and focus back on yourself. Isn’t it time you live a life you love?

I thought this would make me feel better and while I’m less frustrated.. Oh no it’s back. The frustration is back.

I’m sitting here and I want to scream what the fuck is wrong with this world!!!!

Why do I feel like this you ask??

Here is the truth alot of people suck. So I’m done being nice.

Nice is for suckers!!!

Think about it. If I have ever told someone to be nice its because they’re about to pop off and tell someone about themselves in a very real and blunt way.

The world now needs the cold hard truth I’m done being nice.

Follow me here for a minute before you judge.

Think about it someone does something to you, when you have had enough and want to confront the person you’re told to be nice. What about the person who is causing the issues?

We need to be considerate and factual.

Fuck being nice.

Speak your truth. Hold yourself to the same standards and accountability as you hold others. Check yourself and make sure you’re living right before checking anyone else.

Do whats right for you!

Thank you for coming to my Tami talk!!

2022

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2022 wishes for myself and all I love

I simply wish for us to do better, to live a life of peace, true love, and joy. With honest open communication, this can be achieved. I know because I live it every day of my life.

I depend on absolute honesty because it is what I give, any form of manipulation however good you may think you are doing is still only causing harm.

If I know your intentions I can plan my life accordingly. It is far kinder, to be honest than to keep someone waiting around when you have no intentions of following through.

You’re only preventing them from moving forward and although you may say it is because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.

I promise in the long run you’re doing more harm than good with the little white lies.

It’s time, to be honest.

Give people a chance instead of assuming their actions and reactions.

Stop and consider how you make others feel, this life isn’t a one-way road of taking what you can and never worrying about anyone else.

If this is how you choose to live may I ask how it would feel if this is how you were treated?

When people cause you intentional pain that they are aware of letting them go is self-love.

If you’re unsure if they know they hurt you tell them and ask them to stop.

Stop assuming people know, use your voice and speak up and say something.

If someone is controlling who you can talk to and when please realize that isn’t healthy it’s abusive to control the actions of another. It stems from fear and insecurity that If another has access to you they will lose control.

With anything in your life make it make sense to you in every way and if it doesn’t make sense it’s time to find out why!

Master manipulators are out there yes and trust they cannot continue to thrive once we stop accepting their behaviors. Most people aren’t evil they’re just hurt little kids pretending they’re grown trying to do the best they can, it’s time to grow and learn.

There is absolutely a balance, it is achievable, We owe it to ourselves and the future to try.

We all deserve love.

Yet love as we have been taught is painful and untrue it is mixed with other emotions that it never belonged to.

Love doesn’t exist freely where there are lies and manipulation.

Trust can never be formed truly where there are lies and manipulation.

What we have learned is love mixed with control and manipulation, love controlled and manipulated turns into regret.

Regret turns into pain, pain into grief, grief into despair, fear and anxiety come along and bring loss. Don’t you see?

It’s 2022 Let’s gift each other honesty and clear communication. No one is asking for perfection simply progress let’s try and be better.

Teach ourselves, our children, and parents how to break the cycles, by speaking up for what’s right at home!!

It’s time to stop allowing Weak-minded individuals to control the narrative of the story by keeping you in a place of fear, shame, or guilt.

Speak up for yourself and others.

This isn’t about blaming anyone.

Bad things that happened to all of us, generational trauma is very real, look around.

Some have had it far worse than others yes, We are not blind, We are not deaf, We are not mute.

We see the evil. We call out the evil, We end it together. We are aware.

We are the change we’ve been waiting for, It is up to us to stop allowing it to continue!

Remember this above all right is right when it is right and just for all not just some.

We all deserve better.

Let’s do it together. Love Wins!

T.H.E Life

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Through Her Eyes.

Author: Tami Irizarry

———————————————————————

  • Foreword: This book is much like me an absolute enigma! Don’t assume anything and make sure you’re open and willing to see things from multiple perspectives.
  • I will show you how cruelty is celebrated and honored as the norm.
  • While the love we all so deeply need and pray for we hide away from, as we mock and ridicule it calling it weakness. 
  • We often assume and judge what we don’t understand. It is easier to do this it is a weak way to live. You fear what you don’t know because you want to understand how to control it. Yet you can’t control something simply because you don’t understand it. 
  • Come out of your comfort zone and push yourself to seek life outside of what you know. Walk a mile in my shoes. 
  • I will only tell you the truth. I have no interest in manipulating you, I have dealt with that fuckery my entire life. I don’t know all the answers, I know I found a better way for me.

Take a deeper look and see what you will find for yourself on your journey of self-discovery!

BOOK ONE- THE Life

This is the key to understanding so much more.

  1. We are all someone’s child. We all have parents.
  2. Toxic parenting was passed down.
  3. You can break the toxic cycles!
  4. You must be willing to admit you have toxic patterns, we all do at some point, we’re learning to change them!
  5. Unconditional love does not mean unconditional acceptance of bad behavior.
  6. I can love you and not like you.
  7. Trust me with me, as you want me to trust you with you!
  8. The same understanding you want from your parents, we as grown children want from our parents, as well as from our children too.
  9. We’re all doing the best we can, let’s be kind to one another!
  10. Grandparents can be good grandparents and horrible parents.
  11. Narcissistic parents if unhealed and unwilling to admit they have a problem, may turn into narcissistic grandparents.
  12. Narcissistic grandparents will manipulate your children against you, especially if they have a genuine jealousy and hate for you.
  13. Understand when you set boundaries which no longer allow a narcissistic parent to harm or control you in the same ways they will panic and become desperate.
  14. You have two options if they harm you because they enjoy your suffering and refuse to change, for your sanity please choose yourself walk away and don’t look back!
  15. Now If you have a parent who has toxic tendencies and they are making changes, it doesn’t mean you have to walk away from them completely.
  16. If you see real change keep boundaries but allow for growth. Simply no longer engage in any toxic behavior, remove yourself from the situation. Communication is key tell them the exact issue and give them the chance to correct it.
  17. While healing make sure you’re aware of yourself take a step back to make you’re viewing the situation clearly.
  18. Child abuse in any aspect is wrong and never your fault. In no way do my words accept or condone the actions of those who have harmed me.
  19. I would be lying to say I didn’t understand how it all happened and I have no room for blame, I simply want change.
  20. Laws to protect the innocent victims a real way to help and heal those caught up in this sick game.
  21. Who is there to blame when it happened to us all?
  22. None of these things are your fault and you need to know this.
  23. When pain and accountability are involved most people will only hear what they want to believe, no one likes to get involved.
  24. It’s not there place or business.. what a poor way to say I lack courage to do the right thing, regardless of what chaos it may bring for me.

Available 2022