I am a healer and the saddest thing is to witness people who are trying to heal be lied to or denied healing in anyway. Do I charge yes I do…. why? Well for many reasons while I want to help every single person it’s not up to me just like it’s not up to you. 

I share knowledge and encouragement daily in many ways, social media, mentoring, podcast, blog, events etc…. I offer freely of my time and energy when I feel it is appropriate. I have boundaries and I honor and love myself my family and my loved ones and I enjoy being able to live my blessed life with them. I cannot do that in the way I deserve if I give away all of myself. My love is free and I give it freely what isn’t free is my education (I had to pay for it), my time (I can’t get it back), my energy (why should I suffer the pain of your choices), my effort (why should I be willing to give more then you are when it comes to your healing?). Now there is a difference between not being able to afford my services and wanting what I give for free… how?

Simply circumstances of life are so that it can make it hard enough to keep yourself afloat and that I understand I also offer personalized help until you show me my commitment to your healing is greater then your own. 

Without further ado onto how you can heal yourself a step by step guide! Be mindful you will have to find ways to measure your progress and hold yourself accountable.

Where do we go from here? 

There are two choices in any situation. The first choice is focus on the pain and become engulfed in it.
What does each option look like, mean, feel like and bring to your life?
Choice one

What does it feel like?

It feels like anxiety, sadness, loss of hope, fear, pain, anger, rage, loss and more…
What does it mean? Realistically it means the same as it always has on some level you have already questioned or known, now you can no longer deny it to yourself. You can’t change it alone either.
What does it look like? This one is tricky because it ties into what does it feel like and well it’s looks like it feels to you, however to the outside world looking in it looks like- depression, missed appointments and obligations, outbursts, tears, chaos, mess, destruction, miscommunication, self neglect and more.

What does it bring to your life?

The same circumstances and pain you have always experienced on a deeper more painful level. It continuously becomes louder, stronger as it continues to push you to your breaking your point in an attempt to have you finally choose you! Making you try to understand it, heal it, learn from it and change it.
Depending on how painful, how toxic, how many opportunities you have had to change in the past and the destruction it brings to your life that you can’t see.

Will be the deciding factor in how hard this experience is to move through. Call it what you will, a life changing event will occur to force your hand, an awakening, a dark night of the soul, a mental break down, a gateway to a spiritual journey, a midlife crisis, an affair, a death…. the list and the reasons are infinite. 

The only thing that is consistent throughout is the fact that no matter how long you try to avoid it or ignore it. Your soul has a job to do and it will do all it can so that you don’t fail and have to continue to learn the lesson you are ready to move past as you take step into the next phase of your life.
Your soul/higher self/ psyche/ brain/ mind/ heart/ inner child/heart … cannot do it without your permission.. why because you have free will which means if you so choose to stay where you are then this is where you stay until you make a choice to move.

The second choice is to take the knowledge you have gained and do what you need to so that you can keep moving forward in your life.
What does each option look like, mean, feel like and bring to your life?

Choice 2

What does it feel like?

Now this is where it gets tricky because it is scary, I won’t lie to you it is painful, it is releasing, freeing, cleansing and it time it is absolutely beautiful in a new way and life doesn’t ever hurt in the same ways again. When the lesson tries to comes back with a new name and face to be looked at again it doesn’t affect you the same way.
What does it mean? It means healing from a specific trauma from the past one by one as you begin reviewing stalk yourself, yes stalk yourself! Now here you try and figure out why you are triggered the way you are and what your triggers are, why you feel as you do, think as you do and live as you do. Sit with those feelings and pick them apart tracing back as far as you can, I like to guide my clients to the first time they remember feeling that emotion. Now that you have found which emotion and memory to search the past through, you are guided to understand how, what and why that interaction caused you to feel. How it has replayed throughout your entire life simply with different names and faces different situations and scenarios.
Ask yourself how it still currently affects your life. Once you have figured it out start looking into your adult life, seek the pattern that was set because of that initial situation and the emotions you felt.
It is time to go to the current situations in your life that have been problematic due to those patterns so let’s set the emotions aside and look at just the facts. Why???? Because your perception has changed and emotions simply aren’t the facts of the situation and each one involved has their own emotions caused by their own traumas…. learning to look at situations as an observer can help you navigate moving forward easily.

What does it look like?

Pausing before responding to give yourself a moment to breath and respond from a place of love not pain. It looks like a rebirth, freedom, joy, new beginnings. It’s the shine that you never realized you lost getting brighter and life beginning to change in beautiful ways, it looks like pleasure where there was once pain.

What does it bring to my life?

It brings the ability to utilize all that you have learned to life! Now where you came from a place of pain in whichever emotion you worked through you stand in a place of love. Living even with one step deeper in true self love through real healing begins to attract and call into your life beautiful new relationships, opportunities and love (not always sexually), growth and the tools needed to start new with a strong foundation in which you have healed. You glow brighter that new level of brightness doesn’t leave because it’s no longer temporary you did the work in healing that particular toxic pattern.