✓ There is separation in family and humanity is clinging on by a thread, it is time we are taking back control and making appropriate changes. Now we are in an awkward place of unlearning, clearing, healing, understanding, opening, Integrating new information, opening to different perspectives and reclaiming all that was wrongfully taken and held back from us. However we aren’t doing it in hate or anger or even pain, we are doing it in love and through changed behaviors! It begins as we uplift one another and remind each other that we are all divine and hold the heart of Jesus and Mary within each of us! Once we find balance it all begins!
✓ Sometimes people need separation so that we may heal and learn a better way. This way we clear the road for whatever is meant for us and we allow the other the same, often we find when the love is real it finds it way back to us. However this time it is ready for a new beginning in new ways when it does return. It is time for you to focus on yourselves and your children as you heal independently so you may come back and heal the family together. Through the true heart of Jesus and Mary can we truly change the world. It begins within each of us this is the journey home.
✓ Open to the awesomeness around you!
✓ Tami Irizarry @DivineTemptations

think
Pride
Change is here you don’t have to trust me, it’s clear to see. I was outside yesterday enjoying the sun at the hotel by the pool.
I’m overhearing a mother share her story of abusy and how she is trying to break the cycle with her children, it’s beautiful.
Now the man she is sitting with is telling a story of his childhood how I empathize and give her the understanding she is longing for, finally the change we’ve been waiting on.
I’m sure they’re brother and sister now, they speak of their parents and the abuse they endured and how it messed them up as people. They’re trying to figure out a better way forward from what they had been taught.
They are able to see the trauma it’s caused in their own children it’s time.
I keep receiving the same message and conclusion it is time to let others figure it out as we start on this new journey in love, we have waited long enough.
It is safe to move forward and build this new world in love, the ones who have pure hearts yet struggle will eventually catch up, healing hurts and takes time before a person finds their way back to self after abuse.
We’ve held ourselves back for long enough now it’s time to stand back up, dust off and lift your heads and hearts!
The break is over it’s time to get out of bed, it’s time to build foundations that last this time with hope for the future and not with the pain of the past.
Love is forevermore and will always and forever last. Love is the way.
Irrefutable proof.
See someone like me doesn’t speak without concrete evidence. Although I am kind and lead my life in love and grace.
I am also fully aware. I was being taken advantage of by those I chose to keep in my life, I believe in unconditional yet I am not stupid so now it’s time to change it up. While I love you I will no longer allow your toxicity to spread like cancer in my life.
I’m kind not stupid. I just don’t like to give up. I am someone who truly believes that with love anything is possible. I chose to stay in hopes that showing them a better way forward.
I gave opportunity after opportunity for change, unfortunately for all coming into my life that’s no longer an option.
If you want a healer pay for one, or heal yourself so that you can stop destroying the good people in your life. We’re tired of trying and to be honest we’re moving on with our lives.
I would much rather be lonely then surrounded by fake love and games. I love being alone that’s a non issue, I love my company.
What I don’t love is not trusting those who say they love me. Love isn’t just a word to be used it has an actual meaning, love acts in love not pain.
Perhaps it’s time for people to understand love. Love isn’t toxic, love isn’t pain, love isn’t abuse. Love is healing, love is true so if you’re unaware of what love is I’m sorry I’m no longer interested in hearing from you.
I know this sounds bitter but trust it’s not.. see I have true love in my life and it’s the greatest blessing I have ever received. This post isn’t for me it’s to help maybe show you a different perspective about life.
I’m 44 I shouldn’t be at this point, yet here I am and disgusted with humanity. I’m aware of how fucked up that thought is, are we ready to be honest and real?
None of this will ever change if we don’t speak freely. We need to have these hard conversations about how abusive behaviors make us feel and the damage it has caused in our adult lives, how to identify them.
If you have been a child of abuse understand there’s a great chance that you will pick up a toxic relationship or many on the journey. Only we can stop doing it or stop it from happening to the future generations.
The thing is abusive and toxic relationships are only romantic relationships, it’s can happen in any relationship in your life.
Anyone in your life can abuse you, it’s your job to identify it and place firm boundaries. You are your biggest advocate act like it!!
As long as we stay silent, as long as we pretend not to see or hear the abuse we watch others endure, we are the problem!
We are enabling the abusers and intentionally making the victims believe they’re unseen and their suffering doesn’t matter because it’s the societal norm.
News flash we watch you, laughing, agreeing, shit talking, looking the other way and no speaking.
Perhaps we aren’t aware that everyone was not given the same privileges or foundations in life. We didn’t all receive the same upbringing, the same level of stability, safety and security.
I was raised in absolute abuse and neglect , so when all my personal and romantic relationships kept the same pattern I had grown up learning, I didn’t know it was abuse I believed this was normal and that was my life.
Don’t you see we need to speak, educate each other and help everyone understand. A better way forward isn’t a job for one it takes all of us! Save our children and future by understanding the past.
Toxic assholes reproduce and recreate more toxic assholes.. their toxic assholes abuse the kind souls eventually they destroy them and suicide and murder spikes.. are we listening yet?
The whole world needs a parenting lesson me included I was toxic and fucked up too, if I can admit it and do better.. what’s your excuse?
Would you spend time with your family if they weren’t related to you?
Love is unconditional acceptance of bad behavior is not. Don’t try me you better save that shit for someone else.
You may be the problem if you’r ridiculous whining and carrying on, crying, shouting and throwing a fit when you’re asked to do what’s right, or don’t get your way. Honestly it’s embarrassing and disgusting at your age, you’re not a child.
Your parents, friends, lovers and family allow your shitty behaviors simply because they don’t want to hear your mouth, your behaviors are toxic.
They give you what you want to shut you up and we’re all fully aware. They also do it out of guilt, there’s a good chance they didn’t do a good job as parents and you probably remind them of themselves.
That’s wonderful if they are good people!! Now if they’re are not good people and they have no issue because you’re like them take a look at your life and ask some questions.
You may be the problem.
The thing is you don’t have to choose to be a shitty person, it’s a choice you literally have to go out of your way to be an asshole so understand we’re fully aware of who you are and what you do.
People like this are fully aware of it and will openly admit that they’re assholes and shit starters because they think it’s funny.
The truth is they’re a cancer in this society and everything wrong with this world.
So I will gladly keep my title of black sheep and problem child. I will wear that badge with pride as I realize I’m nothing like you. I speak truth in order to bring change, I don’t talk shit to cause pain.
We are not the same if you play sick mind games.
Silence is killing our children and all that’s good to you while you keep doing what you want to.
Love wins as we call out all the bullshit, lies, manipulation and games.
This is our world and we’re done with willful ignorance, intentional pain and abuse. It’s time for you to learn, this world has turned into a new way of life. Learn the rules or be left behind it’s no longer your way at all cost.
This life is all of ours and it’s time for the divine love to rise as we take back what belongs to us all. Love Liberty and Justice for all not just some.
Where’s the humanity switch?
I think it would be easier to endure this life if I turned mine off.
How can one be expected to continue to care in a world that is cold?
When you continue to approach all with total love and zero expectations and they continue to go out of their way to cause pain.
This is their sick game, they feel inferior so they intend to spread pain it makes them feel powerful this is how we end these ways.
The self proclaimed assholes of society whose only purpose is to cause chaos for chaos’s sake you have been identified as the issue.
There’s a difference between those who speak truth and hold others accountable, we do it to end the toxicity and finally bring change.
We are labeled as assholes or trouble wrongfully, what we are is tired of the bullshit, the mind games and manipulation.
We’re tired of watching you get away with all of your shitty ways while we are given the blame and pain.
So this is the only warning we are now calling out your games.
This is the way we bring humanity back, we have to care enough about one another to no longer allow bad behaviors to continue.
Silence is deadly.
How can we continue to not only love you, yet care about you when you continually show us you do not value us?
If you valued those in your life, you wouldn’t intentionally cause them pain. You would show them that you care for and about them.
You would be available when they need you as you want them available for you when you need them.
However this society has become so one sided.
We live in an extremely selfish time, where it is come up at any cost no matter the destruction that’s left behind.
Most want what they want and don’t ever care to think of how that affects anyone else.
They do as they please and take all they can but who is there when you need a helping hand?
Love shouldn’t be a one way street we should care for each other equally of course there are times when we cannot be what others need us to be and that is always okay.
It’s wise to treat others with the same care you want in return, please understand that undervaluing someone you care for will come with some understanding yet understanding only extends so far when we’re being affected by your bad habits.
You may come to find that when you need us we have walked away not because we don’t love you but in your pain we couldn’t stay.
Now this isn’t saying allow yourself to be used this is simply saying don’t abuse what you don’t want to lose.
Realize that while things sometimes won’t fully match the ones you took for granted it’s because you assumed we would always have your back, we would have until we found it was human decency and truth you lack.
Willful ignorance
Could if I would be any other way, STOP! That isn’t true. Why are these the words I choose to say?
I think it’s because of societal standards and beliefs, they break us down those who don’t fit in and at times it can make me wish I didn’t exist.
Yet I know better. What they say, feel or think about me or you should make no difference.
Most people are unhappy and too busy lying to themselves,the only way they feel better about their lives is to make others feel like less.
Yet it still causes pain, the beliefs and thoughts that most hold so dear. Money is king, get to the top at all cost. No matter who is trampled on, no matter what the loss.
There must be a better way. New generations no longer have to learn through pain.
We can stop saying and doing things that we know intentionally cause harm. Willful ignorance isn’t an excuse we’re accepting anymore. Take no shit but cause no harm.
I killed a part of myself today
I killed a part of myself today yet not in a usual way, no one took notice I’m sad to say.
I can’t blame them the part of me that died today no one else knew existed it was the part of me that came alive when I was with you. You didn’t know it happened and you will never mourn because you walked away from me after telling me you loved me and you would always be there.
I had already learned that your actions and your words rarely ring true. It was the same pattern that had been shown to me so many times before not only by you, truthfully by everyone who had ever walked through a door and into my life.
I had to wonder if it was me and took a good look at my time here.
I realized i was damaged by the traumas of the past.
I loved to much and I cared to deeply, love was always looking to protect the ones who wished to destroy and deceive me.
Love to me isn’t a game like many who chose to play it believe it be.
Love is a bond built on truth and vulnerability how can I trust me with you when you don’t even know what love is supposed to do?
How can I simply be me when you get threatened by what that means for you? We are not the same you’re here to play games and I seek truth and clarity I don’t give a damn what this world thinks of me.
This isn’t a popularity contest to me it’s about living my truth authentically.
Big money fast cars and some bling on your arm doesn’t mean shit when you have all that chaos on your mind and in your heart.
The path to redemption begins in your soul, it brings you back to the past to understand how you became the person you are.
A deep truth and personal accountability is needed if you are to get past this part.
The past is hard and no one wants to admit it but we have all fucked up it’s time to go back to the beginning. Once we understand how it came to be we can begin the undoing of the trauma and set ourselves free.
I am that I am. I am the only me I can be, love is the only way for me.
I am in love, I am what I do.
I love in love, I’ve learned a better way. It’s more then what you say, but also how you say it. Love speaks through all that you do, it’s in the words you choose and the way that you move. It flows through you and others feel and see it too. Love is who I am, love is what I do. Love is free and love is true, understand the ways of love start with simply being you. You before the world told you who you should be, go back to your better days when you could just be free.
I believe in love, it’s been there for all the change. No matter the trauma or the pain love stood by my side while I felt lost and afraid. It wasn’t a love from another not always you’ll see. The deepest love I’ve ever known has come from within me.
I’ve consoled myself when I couldn’t take anymore. I woke myself up and pushed me towards the door. I’ve wiped my tears and rocked through my cries. I’ve stayed by my side through all the goodbyes. I am in love with myself it’s how I survive in this life.
I live in love for me it’s the only way.
I exist in love, I exist for change.
I laugh in love, my heart is free.
I know who I am, inside and out. I am free to love in the purest ways, without judgement without shame, never a worry, never blame.
I am never worried about who she wants me to be. I showed her everything the world said was bad about me. I was so scared god I remember. I cried like a baby so afraid of rejection. I showed her the hair on my chin and my neck, she kissed me so deeply, holding me as I cried.
She lifted me into her arms and kissed me a million times at least it felt like that anyway. She told me I was absolutely gorgeous and I could see it in her eyes. She meant every word she was saying.
I was almost embarrassed by my surprise, I tested her again I was still so afraid so I showed her all my scars would she still choose to stay? She is absolutely finitely in love with me. She doesn’t hide away from me all the ways she was told not to be. We embrace all the beautiful things that make us who we are.
I don’t have to speak for her. I speak for only me, I know it’s true in all she does it’s in the way she moves. in the way she treats me. Haven’t we been picked apart enough, love is a safe place in which we’ve built on trust.
I feel in love, with everything in me
I think in love, I open my mind. It’s not about me all of the time, I think about it all and I make sure I understand, I ask questions seeking clarity when I don’t understand. I trust in the communication we’ve built, I am free to ask without shame or guilt. We teach and learn from each other as we go, how can we learn if we’re so afraid to ask we pretend to know.
I know in love, I don’t own you, you are not mine.
I learn in love, change happens all the time. I am only me. I control my time. I share it with those who I choose. This is my life, these are my rules.
I evolve in love, I stand by you until you decline.
I grow in love, Boundaries set are safe and kind.
I morph in love, I adapt there is no blame it’s life.
I change in love, I simply exist to be. In an ever changing world, I grow rapidly.
I soar in love, I speak my will there is no confusion. We all know what to do.
I rise in love, I trust you with me. We speak in love it happens so easily.
I speak in love- I only mean what I say. There is no confusion or in between.
I scribe in love- to share the way. Love is the answer to changing the ways.
I see in love- Nothing else exists. I observe who you are and I understand why.
I perceive in love- I see everyone’s perspectives and can understand why.
I understand in love- It’s not my place to judge, I’m not perfect all of the time.
I will in love- All I desire to be. This begins in us all, for you as for me.
I desire in love- all that is for me. Love is peace. I hope you understand it would be a dream to me.
I dream in love- I breath life into motion. My dreams are messages of love from me, that I choose to share with a chosen few.
I color the world in love- I light the path for those who can see, so they may find the way. Only pure hearts can understand what I say.
I stand for what I love- All that is right and true. Right is right but only when right is right for everyone not just you.
I die when I cease to love- There is nothing left to feel. The pain is to intense, this life cannot be real. I look for an escape a way to make it through the day.
Can anybody see me am I even real?
I love so I fight for a better way. I want everyone to live a life they love so they don’t have to numb their life away. We don’t have to do it alone anymore, it’s safe to want to be free. Change happens rapidly we only need to realize, it begins with you and me.
I become in love when I fall in love with myself- The only way to heal yourself is to embrace and love all of yourself. The parts you hate that you’ve wished away. They are beautiful parts that you were taught to hate. I’m sorry others made you feel that way.
I know in love- This life gets tiring and we all need help, it’s too much for us to be expected to do it all by ourselves.
Help is out there if you should need. Do what you need to make it through another day, don’t give up change is on the way.
I am proud in love- I’m proud of you for being so strong so long.
If you’re seeing this it’s meant for you too!!! ♾🤍
Dear me,
I am so proud of you!!
What I’ve watched you go through, the heart break and suffering in silence, you’ve fought your way through it all!
You searched for a better way and kept your heart pure. You made your focus on true love and what is right for all. You kept unconditional love, understanding and concern in your heart and lived it at all times.
You never judged another you simply tried to understand the differences and respected everyone equally and their ways, understanding your way isn’t the only way and that is just fine.
I know you’re scared and tired. I know you feel like this pain will never end, I know in your heart and soul you can’t accept that to be the truth.
I’m so proud of you because it wasn’t for nothing and dreams do come true.
The pain is coming to an end it’s the Dawn of Anew way forward together!
New days are here. Those with pure hearts please lift your heads once and for all.
You’re divinely protected in the heart of infinite love.
I AM is here.
The days in life when things changed forever.
There are specific days in my life that stay with me always. They are the days I look on and wish I had known then what I now know. These days are the days I trusted in others to tell me what made sense and I was striving to do better, be better and give my children a better chance at a bright future. This day in particular became the pinnacle of my destruction.
Kristy I thought was different everyone liked her, she was fun and outgoing. Kristy seemed responsible she had a good job, her family was in her life and she was pursuing me. I had just left an abusive relationship with a control freak who was a manipulative cheater and an emotional abuser so Kristy stepped in like a breath of fresh air.
I was so blinded.
I had friends or so I had thought, it turns out this would be a most valuable lesson. People don’t do what’s right they typically don’t care what’s right they do what is socially acceptable.
Allow me to explain. I was living a decent life abuse had been something I had always known. Even with my diagnosis’s I was fighting for my life, it was suddenly falling into place. I had just been awarded my social security disability and I had a nice rental home for me and the kids, I was surrounded by what I believed we’re friends and family that cared for us.
Yet no one, not one of the people who called my children their niece and nephew thought to warn me. Kristy was a convicted felon multiple times over and a active alcoholic and crack smoker/drug user. I was naive to say the very least and alcoholics were not new to me so I saw it as normal and she hid the drug use.
As the relationship progressed I ignored the red flags, my daughter hated her I thought it was preteen angst. I was selfish and wanted peace, happiness and stability for my children and myself. Kristy was right there promising the sun, moon and stars. Little did I know how she and her family would spend our entire relationship tearing us down, emotionally and mentally abusing us, while stealing everything I had and mentally destroying me.
The worst part is it was all avoidable, at any point anyone of my best friends who claimed to love us and who knew her and her family personally could have said Tami she isn’t good for you. Yet not one did and I understand oh it’s no ones place however innocent children were there so yes as humans it was absolutely the time and place to speak up.
Silence prevailed.
So when Kristy suggested we move into her parents home to save money to buy a house and start our lives, I felt it was an absolute blessing! It was perfect her parents had a 3 bedroom apartment in the basement of their home and we wouldn’t be charged rent. I gave up my rental and we moved. This is where I went wrong.
Once I left my freedom, giving up my independence and trusting the words she was saying. I was sitting on 15,000 cash from back pay with social security and I was on over 18 different medications for my mental health. I was doing the best I could to recover from my past and how it was supposed to be my time to finally give my kids the life they deserved. We moved into Kristys parents house.
Life went dark almost immediately and Kristy became a completely different person we took control of all of the money and food became scarce she was working all the time so I didn’t understand.
She was drinking more and more and becoming cruel and angry all of the time. She took control of my child support and social security and convinced me that we didn’t need my car because I drove hers and she had the work truck so I listened to her and sold my vehicle. She instantly took the money.
I was stuck and didn’t have the proper help to leave it was a bad situation to a bad situation, I had no safe place to run. Life was unhealthy for me. I’m writing this and it is hard but has to be written. Ladies and men please find the knowledge and wisdom within this.
Love doesn’t hurt. Love is never manipulating. Love is not controlling. When it is love it heals and helps. Love never destroys, love is not toxic. Any one who secludes you from family or friends seeks to control you by controlling who influences you. They wish to keep you only listening to them so that you stay ignorant to what they’re doing. please don’t let yourself become a victim.
Looking back now I see the pattern and all of us face it, one way or another the point is we no longer have to. If we can identify these behaviors we can prevent destruction. If we warn each other we can help to heal this world instead of watching idly by as good people become victims to the evil ways of narcissistic people.
Unpacking and healing the baggage of life.. let’s take a walk together as we find a better way. 