Honestly it’s a tale as old as time and goes even deeper.
Emotionally and for our wellbeing we need others and that’s a simple fact, yet this world has told us it is weak and codependent to need others yet life alone cannot be sustained one would absolutely go insane without love and interaction look at castaway with Wilson.
Yes while we feel like we would be better alone we’re not wrong either not exactly anyway but nonetheless we’re still wrong we’re buying into the division they try to create it became every man out for themselves and that’s where destruction ruled over and won.
Now it’s high time we realize that we realize all that division did was cause heartbreak anger pain and regret it caused struggles and financial worries that didn’t need to be, children were placed in vulnerable and dangerous situations because the familial support was removed.
Now we struggle and destroy each other and all we really want to do is pull each other close and make it better together and put the pain of the past behind us finding a better way forward together.
If ego and pride could be set aside and people would feel comfortable being vulnerable and openly taking to one another without fear of judgement.
Then we can begin to listen to our hearts and find we’ve been waging wars against ourselves and we don’t have to anymore it’s time for a new way forward into our future together for all!
Love doesn’t hurt control does!
loy·al
adjective 1 giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.”loyal service” This is the problem there is no allegiance or loyalty to others we started idolizing material and Wealth we lost sight of what matters the most!
Loyalty to each other family and love,loyalty to the truth and loyalty to what is right is what is lacking in this country.
We made things more important than people.
Everyone set their sights on what they wanted materially and sacrificed those who care for them to get it.
Now everyone has to learn that this is where they have lacked in humanity and in love and what’s right. This is what I meant when I said keeping your heart pure, while yea I want more I’m not about to destroy a innocent someone to get it.
I’m grateful for what I have throughout the struggles and I know better days will come. I strive to help others who are suffering because I know the pain as well, I also know together we can change it for everyone.
A new way forward exists when you’re ready I’m here.
The point of this spiritual journey is to bring us back to whole.
During the hard times as we experience heartbreaking goodbyes and traumas resurface we are taught how to learn how to love and honor ourselves fully so we can awaken to our truth and full potential.
When we release fear in all aspects and step into our authentic being shedding the judgement of others. We release the beliefs put on us about who we were expected to be, finally being seen and appreciated for who we truly are.
It’s hard at times without a doubt but it is the most beautiful love you will ever experience once you begin living what you’re speaking. The work isn’t easy and yes there are times when you feel like you can’t take anymore.
Please keep going don’t give up, I promise all the pain wasn’t for nothing. Your truth will be revealed ignorance is dying as we educate others.
Don’t fear the unknown embrace the changes and live your life for you! You deserve a love that doesn’t hurt and that’s the end of the rainbow everything else suddenly falls into place!
I speak from absolute experience I have no reason to lie to you. ~Tami Irizarry Love doesn’t hurt. Toxicity does. Evolve.
I took this picture yesterday proof is all around if you choose to see! 🙌🏽🤍♾🕊🗣
As I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul will keep, if I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
If I shall wake another day I pray the Lord shows man the way, to clarity and understanding that right is only right, when it is right for all. Or it isn’t right for all.
Each interaction I lose more hope, the cruelty and lack of understanding, humanity is losing hope and I can’t take anymore pain. Why do I fight for change when it remains the same and I’m always the one to blame?
I do it because I deserved better than what happened to me, we all did and we can’t change the past. What we can do is change ourselves and stop it from happening in the future. We didn’t realize the damage that was happening in time and our children had to endure the pain as well.
Our grandchildren deserve better and change comes when we start openly honestly communicating with each other and holding the appropriate people responsible and accountable for their actions.
We can stop blaming the victims and stop protecting the villains as we claim ignorance, it continues to happen because many play deaf dumb or blind.
They Can’t comprehend how someone can lose it all, they’ve never had to struggle, they’ve never had to truly fall. For them I’m glad they had the right support in life. Some of us aren’t so fortunate after all.
Instead of trying to understand, or even wonder how it would feel if it were them. They make hate filled judgments and laugh at the pain.
If this is what it’s all for please don’t wake me anymore, I’m tired. I want to rest now.
Now if you want to open hearts and restore faith please send me forth for all days!
I’m sick to my stomach, stress and anxiety are absolutely heightened my PTSD is triggered and I’m again finding that all of this was caused by the immature and wrong actions of another.
Yet here I am left dealing with the consequences of those inactions or actions, depending on how you want to look at it. Now what I want to know is when does it stop?
When do we begin holding adults accountable for their narcissistic temper tantrums? When do we say enough is enough to toxicity and take a stand against it once and for all?
I know I’m standing up to answer the call, not just because it affects me alone, but when you think of it this blatant disregard for humanity affects us all.
Let’s take it back to my landlord let’s call him Mr. My father is a real estate attorney, aka Mr. Privilege. I rent an illegal home attached to air bnb, the part about it being illegal was unknown to me. Until today when I was forced to look up building codes, that’s another story for another day.
Right here right now I’ve got too much to say, I can’t stop now or I’ll let this train get away. So back to where I am currently. I pay $1595 to live where I do, it’s absolutely beautiful and exactly what I needed at the perfect time too.
What I also didn’t know is that my landlord Mr.Privilege wasn’t as nice of a guy as I thought. Again my desire to see the good in others still has the ability to blind me against the reality of who they are proving to be. Note taken!! So when the latest air bnb’s guest brought their dogs, I was absolutely startled they arrived after we were in bed and the dogs were going nuts.
I didn’t blame them it’s a scary to be in a new place, I know it can be rough. So in the morning when the owners left I wasn’t really shocked that the dogs were barking non stop. After two and a half hours of non stop barking, I was really getting concerned and my nerves were beginning to wear thin. I messaged my landlord and here is where this drama begins.
The first text and his response was absolutely fine!he even apologized, the air bnb people came back and took care of the dogs all was fine. My landlord even checked to make sure the dogs had calmed down, what a great guy!
Crisis adverted but would I be so lucky the next time they went out again? The answer was no and for $1595 a month I didn’t sign up to feel as if I was living in a kennel, it didn’t seem fair but I shrugged my shoulder and went on without a care.
I went out and enjoyed my day, went into nature and spent time with a friend. Came back to my house to make dinner and it started again. The dogs wouldn’t stop barking with every sound I would make once their parents left them they must have been scared in a new place. I reached out again for help after another 2 & 1/2 hours.
This time I wasn’t met with kindness, instead I was treated as an inconvenience bullied slandered attacked threatened and now I’m being evicted. I wish there was some amazing tale to tell you but in all honesty that’s the long and short of it. This time at least I noticed and stood up for myself this time right away.
So this is what Mr. Privilege had to say.. I’m not doing this all summer with the air bnb guests you have 60 days to get out. You’re in violation of your lease. He also tried to throw some false accusations my way. The problem is this when you lie manipulate and bully someone it’s just not a good look.
Oh let me tell you about last Sunday, this one was really for the books! In my lease I have a back lot, it’s my parking and yard area I pay for it. So Mr. Privilege comes to assert toxic male dominance and brings a male counterpart each with a big truck to further intimidate me. He tells me to move my car, my personal vehicle from my parking area so he can park his trailer there right now or he is towing my car.
Literally no joke.
I have already at this point explained that I will be spoken to as an equal and to please keep it professional and business like, I’m not your friend, child, mother or wife. I am your tenant and we have a legally binding contract to be withheld on both sides. All I am asking for is basic human decency and consideration.
I know I am more then considerate when he asks me to throw away the air bnbs trash as recycling every week. As well as all the nights I can’t even sleep in my own home because of endless parties until after 2 am.
Guess what.. Nope I am not the one hosting them, but anywhere you sit in my home you wouldn’t know the difference. It’s so loud I think there’s something that helps with noise is it proper installation?
Regardless, here I am now and allow me to explain the layout of my house as I sat at home today, then we can get to why I’m truly feeling this way. We shall begin with a picture!
See those steps? That’s my front door, the cars aren’t mine they are from the air bnb.
So I have exactly one exit, you enter it’s my kitchen you go upstairs and I am above the air bnb. No escape, no back door, no front escape I’m literally surrounded. However this is the funny thing I wouldn’t have cared. It was their mother’s 80th birthday! I didn’t say a word.
So let’s rewind to 5:22 am this Sunday morning , I receive an email from Mr.Privilege about a review the previous air bnb rental made. I will enclose all info because I need your input guys. What would you do? If this were you and you lived here? I can’t afford to move and I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Yet to me it seems clear.
Email from Mr.Privilege The air bnb review but look below there’s proof! Again that’s my front door no other entrance or exit point. However the air bnb renters are given a back yard with gazebo and ping pong table, grill etc and an entire front yard. This isn’t it this is a common driveway shared my multiple units there’s isn’t included they also have separate parking up front.
This was my reply to my landlord.
As per your request I am only to email you after you told me you were falsely evicting me in 60 days because you weren’t going to do this all summer with the air bnb guests. Then you persist to email me this telling me about complaints again completely unheard of and you’ve never before mentioned it. Now what you have done and I can’t comprehend how an adult business man can literally be fueled by emotion and not logic. Which was what I asked for when dealing with. Speak to me as an equal I am not your child.
Regardless I will address your message. That is not at what happened yet moving as per your response I am only to email you. The thing about opinions they are interesting, however they are not facts. I can absolutely provide proof of interactions and witnesses which were outside at the time.
I was outside smoking on my porch mid day I am absolutely well within my rights to be on my porch in my area on phone and ask some to quiet down, it’s one of the minimal spaces I have. It’s a drive way not yard. In the same aspect the same consideration is what I’ve been asking for yet you have a problem with me when I ask for it. However you have no issue accepting my rent. Please make it make sense.
Moving forward let’s readdress this false eviction based on lies on 2/19/2022 you stated We have 60 days were being evicted because I asked you for you help with the dogs at the air bnb the instant you lied and accused me you’re right the dynamic absolutely changed. How would you feel if someone slandered your good name with lies?
Now you come with this.
What?!???!??!??!?Crickets ever since 🦗 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗
Yet I’m the one in tears all day with my stomach in knots. How is this right for anyone at all? What if it were you?
Thank you for reading it really does help to write it all out and put it into perspective for me. Maybe when things get hard try writing about it, you really do feel better since you’re not forced to silently hold it all in.
Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day!! Happy birthday to the 80 year old granny in the attached house many many more amazing years for you to come! What a beautiful gift to celebrate someone! I hope at that age I’m that blessed. A little understanding saves a lot of unneeded stress! 🤍🕊♾
Have you ever wondered why? Perhaps we should try and understand if we contributed to the hurt that these people are unleashing.
Understand this loves, If you personally hurt someone and it was intentionally or unintentionally they have the right to how they feel.
If you truly love them you will be willing to listen to understand without being defensive, If we can start living with understanding instead of judgement perhaps we can acknowledge that we are all suffering and trying to do the best we can.
If you didn’t have any hand in hurting them perhaps show a little grace and realize they may not know a better way exists.
Kindness matters to yourself and others. It helps to heal hearts, then we can find who we truly are under all the pain we’ve endured. It’s time we do better together educate each other. Hold all as accountable as you hold yourself. 🕊🤍♾~ Tami Irizarry We can change this world together!
So while I spent this early morning revisiting the past. It is now 8:00am and the birds are chirping. it is a beautiful day to be alive!
The one thing I have learned is that I am the one who chooses how I experience this life and I choose to be happy. Too much of my life has been controlled by the actions of others. I won’t allow that again, it is my life and I live it for me.
I guess I am telling you this to help remind you, no matter how bad the past is, how dark the depression there is hope. When it gets bad put your hand over your feel it beating and know my love you are a work of art! I love you all.
Hold on change is coming although it hurts to grow, its necessary. We deserve love, peace and happiness. Freedom from all the shackles that have held us back.
Today depression came back full force. It’s 4:48 am I’ve been up since 3 as usual.
I’m trying to understand why it’s hitting so hard as if it’s really hard to understand that reliving the trauma of the past will also bring up pain and I will be easily triggered.
People are the topic of the conversation today. Fucking people, sorry not sorry, people are the worst. Me included trust me as much as I am love and light, I am equally fast and furious if you intentionally try to play with me.
I see the things you do before you do them, most people are simply going in circles like ants with a chalk outline.
People please don’t be afraid to think outside of the box of social expectations and conditioning. This is your personal life, when are you going to live it as you wish?
Instead, many continue repeating the motions of what they were taught and never wonder what the hell we’re doing here. The amount of predictability is insane.
So let me say open your mind, ignorance is no excuse. You deserve to live a life of love and peace. It can never happen if you are a life boat to everyone drowning around you.
If you didn’t know I’m about to tell you. You are welcome!!
Energy and Time are more valuable then money.
No one owes you a thing so if they share themselves with you appreciate them.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Talk only truth.
Don’t say it if you’re not going to do it.
Words are powerful.
You can’t change the meaning of the word because you don’t like it.
Just because you want to be right doesn’t mean you’re right.
Facts over emotions will save you everytime.
Individual pain and trauma is no competition.
Honor your obligations.
Healing truly begins when you stop allowing people to treat you like shit while your being nice to them.
Stop being nice and let’s start being real with each other!
By being nice we’re only allowing shitty behavior to continue.
Please have basic decency.
Kindness is natural so be kind yes but never fake and to me, if I have to tell you to be nice it means that you no longer feel the need to be nice and I trust you with you so.. YOLO
Common sense is sadly not common.
It should be.
Communication is key.
Ask for clarity before you assume.
Not everyone is your friend. Seriously most only want something from you as long as it’s equal give and take there are no issues. When it’s one sided reevaluate.
If they ignore you but you are there for them regardless of your personal situation… Pull back.
How are you going to give all you are to someone else just for it to be take for granted or disregarded? Stop giving it away.
Turn the attention and focus back on yourself. Isn’t it time you live a life you love?
I thought this would make me feel better and while I’m less frustrated.. Oh no it’s back. The frustration is back.
I’m sitting here and I want to scream what the fuck is wrong with this world!!!!
Why do I feel like this you ask??
Here is the truth alot of people suck. So I’m done being nice.
Nice is for suckers!!!
Think about it. If I have ever told someone to be nice its because they’re about to pop off and tell someone about themselves in a very real and blunt way.
The world now needs the cold hard truth I’m done being nice.
Follow me here for a minute before you judge.
Think about it someone does something to you, when you have had enough and want to confront the person you’re told to be nice. What about the person who is causing the issues?
We need to be considerate and factual.
Fuck being nice.
Speak your truth. Hold yourself to the same standards and accountability as you hold others. Check yourself and make sure you’re living right before checking anyone else.
Foreword: This book is much like me an absolute enigma! Don’t assume anything and make sure you’re open and willing to see things from multiple perspectives.
I will show you how cruelty is celebrated and honored as the norm.
While the love we all so deeply need and pray for we hide away from, as we mock and ridicule it calling it weakness.
We often assume and judge what we don’t understand. It is easier to do this it is a weak way to live. You fear what you don’t know because you want to understand how to control it. Yet you can’t control something simply because you don’t understand it.
Come out of your comfort zone and push yourself to seek life outside of what you know. Walk a mile in my shoes.
I will only tell you the truth. I have no interest in manipulating you, I have dealt with that fuckery my entire life. I don’t know all the answers, I know I found a better way for me.
Take a deeper look and see what you will find for yourself on your journey of self-discovery!
BOOK ONE- THE Life
This is the key to understanding so much more.
We are all someone’s child. We all have parents.
Toxic parenting was passed down.
You can break the toxic cycles!
You must be willing to admit you have toxic patterns, we all do at some point, we’re learning to change them!
Unconditional love does not mean unconditional acceptance of bad behavior.
I can love you and not like you.
Trust me with me, as you want me to trust you with you!
The same understanding you want from your parents, we as grown children want from our parents, as well as from our children too.
We’re all doing the best we can, let’s be kind to one another!
Grandparents can be good grandparents and horrible parents.
Narcissistic parents if unhealed and unwilling to admit they have a problem, may turn into narcissistic grandparents.
Narcissistic grandparents will manipulate your children against you, especially if they have a genuine jealousy and hate for you.
Understand when you set boundaries which no longer allow a narcissistic parent to harm or control you in the same ways they will panic and become desperate.
You have two options if they harm you because they enjoy your suffering and refuse to change, for your sanity please choose yourself walk away and don’t look back!
Now If you have a parent who has toxic tendencies and they are making changes, it doesn’t mean you have to walk away from them completely.
If you see real change keep boundaries but allow for growth. Simply no longer engage in any toxic behavior, remove yourself from the situation. Communication is key tell them the exact issue and give them the chance to correct it.
While healing make sure you’re aware of yourself take a step back to make you’re viewing the situation clearly.
Child abuse in any aspect is wrong and never your fault. In no way do my words accept or condone the actions of those who have harmed me.
I would be lying to say I didn’t understand how it all happened and I have no room for blame, I simply want change.
Laws to protect the innocent victims a real way to help and heal those caught up in this sick game.
Who is there to blame when it happened to us all?
None of these things are your fault and you need to know this.
When pain and accountability are involved most people will only hear what they want to believe, no one likes to get involved.
It’s not there place or business.. what a poor way to say I lack courage to do the right thing, regardless of what chaos it may bring for me.
Unpacking and healing the baggage of life.. let’s take a walk together as we find a better way. 